A Recap of (the Wonderful) 2009

In a few hours from now, we will all say adieu to 2009 and will say hello to 2010 as another year unfolds. Really, time flies so fast. I am not even sure if I am that ready to move on from 2009. Yay. Don’t get me wrong for I mean it in a positive way.

It is really hard to let go of something that has been very good to you. And that is 2009 for me. I can almost say that 2009 is for me in all aspects of my life. Errr. Maybe not love department. Hahaha. Kidding aside, I have so many blessing to count this year. And I am so looking forward for more in 2010.

And so, traverse with me as I relive the glory days of 2009.

January: Food Trips


February: Sweetest Thing on Earth


March: Of Birthday and Defense


April: Commencement Exercises and Get Away

Pink-y

The inevitable has come.

Alright, I am guilty of evading follow up check ups because I do not want to spoil my mood or simply depress myself further. My blood count is low as ever. Gee, when will it ever get better? I am so into iron stuff na nga. Bakal na kaya kainin ko? Hahaha. But I am getting better. No need for any procedures. My lymphocytes are very cooperative---let's go team and not succumb to the twilight zone. Wink.

I am fine. I am getting better. I will live longer---you'll see more of me, still. Hahaha.

* * * * *

Hahaha. My room gets a long over due make-over. I had it repainted in MMDA pink. And the color refreshed my memory of one of F's remarks (a long time ago, in the far away land of Beb days). The Sanrio (lots of Hllo Kitty) store in Trinoma is like a porn house/room. Japanese porn are usually on that pink-ish set-ups. Ahem. I am not into Kitty-Kitty but i want a touch of PINK this time. No more brown-ish walls.

* * * * *

Happy Birthday, Jake Cuenca. Gee, I am such a fan.

* * * * *

I am now writing my year end blog. Lots of pics. I am in tears as I traverse to the first six months of the year. Don't get me wrong, those tears were of happiness. True enough, 2009 has been very good to me. I'd like to think that 2009 is my year.

Tuesday Love Revived

Got any idea about the title? No, I haven't cleared the cobwebs so to speak. Just in case that you are wondering. Hahaha.

After a half day of drama, my Forex cargo box is already here. Woot. I so love my shoes--the Imelda in me. Gee, my bags are winners too. I can't breathe. And the smile is still on my face.

Pics later. Me enjoyin' twitter. I am such a fan. Boo! Hahaha. Pardon me, I am just passin my time, will have my check up tomorrow. Lord, sana po galing na ako. Thank you.

I love you Gooblye

I am so enjoying my Yoga classes. I got to relax my muscle and I don’t get tired easily. Watched “I love you goodbye”. Gabby’s winning lines “I love you so much. I love you too much that I can’t hate you”. Whoa, I can relate.

Fun Night

I had a blast with my HS loves.



And now, I am up for an open question night. Gee, Arri's first question:

Jien Dy: Have you tried masturbating
kathryn: no! you are so ewan
Jien Dy: I thought it was an OPEN QUESTION night?
Jien Dy: Errr.
Jien Dy: What do you expect people to ask you, a math question?
kathryn: well, i havent tried it yet. conservative ako eh
Jien Dy: Good.
Jien Dy: So may I ask another question?
kathryn: game
Jien Dy: Have you tried anal sex?

Goodnight, loves.

Lazy me

I am in a very deep predicament. I always believed that I write best when I am sad but now, words are evading me. I can't explain the sadness that has enveloped me since 6pm this evening.

If I could only go back in time, I now know better. I can make better judgments on anything that will affect my future. My career is a chaos. I don't know where to go. I have always detest retail marketing but I am employed in such industry right now.

Staring at the walls, I feel so empty that I want to cry again. I want to surrender all my worries and heartaches. I want 2009 to end now. I am wishing for a better 2010. Don't get me wrong, 2009, I think, is the best year I ever had.

Thinking about the many ordeals I went through, I am just glad that I have survived all those. I am a fighter and I am not going to give up.

Yes, for the love of God, let there be peace on Earth.

CHRISTmas

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Cheater

We are. Hahaha. Sorry Dave. Update later, I am effin' sleepy!

Wrong

Boy, I was so wrong to think that I am no longer safe here. Gee, This is really my home. And home is where your heart is. Yes sir, I am back!

My i.ph account will jeopardize my budding career pa yata. Very thoughtless of me to have blogged my filing of half days just because I went on shopping sprees with the usual suspects. Ahahaha.

Tsk.Atleast here, only one soul knows this existence.

Whew

Please, allow me to vent some of my heart aches tonight. If not, I might have a break down again and cry endlessly.

Last Monday, you asked me to give my heart and soul to you so that we can have a better relationship. And I agreed halfheartedly.

absurd

but I am willing to go back in time just have you again.

. . . dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman.

sick and tired

I am under the weather again. Tsk. And I am tired of all the drama. Take me, I want to have my peace of mind already. Take me.

Forever GC

Gosh, it is already 4 am and I am still up doing the slides. Grrrr! Sometimes, I wonder on why do I have to do everything all by myself. Surely, I don't have the superhero complex. Yes, I do not possess such because if I do, maybe I will save P's ass in HK. Hahaha.

Shout Out: Paul Michael, umuwi kana!

Read this:

If some 10 minutes ago, I am too sleepy to even type a word. Now, I am in such state of shock to put my thoughts in symbols. Gee, what is he trying to say this time? While he was having another recital, oh well, short story appearing in my YM window, I am really tempted to reply and put those accusations hurled against me in proper contexts. Those things happened like 8 to 10 weeks ago but I will try my very best to fill you, sweetie.

Firstly, what should I expect from someone with that kind of retention? We were in Trinoma when we saw your ex with her current named Vince. You even left me when you approached them. Then told me that girl used to love you like forever but found love after a year. You even boasted that the current resembles you in so many ways. In that unexpected meet up, all you offered was shakehands to the both of them. I remebered too, that we ate in Redribbon after that. You had your usual soupy Carbonara.

Secondly, I never said you said that word when you were asking me about passport thingy. If I remembered it right, I once exclaimed, “ganyan naman yan dati, he would call me Beb so that I’ll give in”. This is in reference with the Ym conversation sometime July when I got back from the South. It was in July—meaning you and I have already fallen apart.

Now, am I arousing some memory there?

Thirdly, you did send out invites. Not once, but many times that I grew hating you for lack of respect. I don’t see the need to paste the whole conversation here to prove my point. Alright, I have divulged it to some friends because I was in so much grief then. I was like the relationship has already ended and now he has the nerve to claim and ask for 5 rounds!

Fourthly, as for the testing the waters. I think you got it all wrong. I never said that testing the waters meant testing the situation if we could be together again. I used the phrase this way and this is all I mean, ever. Do you remember the night that I told you that you are the worst person that I have ever met? I was too mad that night then there you go, some weeks from no communication at all will send PMs asking if that was my uniform in my avatar. And the confidence to even ask me about Samsung LCD price in the market. To cut it short, what was playing in my mind then was “Is he testing the waters after the you are the worst person ever episode? You knew how I detest you that very night and asking me like we are friends is something I cannot take then”.

Lastly, I never cheated on you. Never. How could I when I am all over you? Never even had the chance to be with my other friends, for crying out loud. Visits from Pio were not planned. He came here with no text nor call or whatsoever. But those unexpected visits were relayed to you. I am certain that i have told you about it. Now, don’t accuse me of some kind of flirt because that is one adjective that will not describe me.Stop alluding to those “and more” like you mean I did it.

How could you say that you are very much happy and content when you can’t even forgive? Not that you are the one to forgive me, but did cause you so much pain that you’ve gone mad berating me? Can you even sleep for the PSP and DSLR justification you gave me? Have you forgotten the lies and betrayals you did to me?

Gee, between us, it should be me who deserves to be happy and all. I deserve that happy ending for I was the fool who believed that a liar can change and can keep his promises. Check on your temper. Breathe. Relax. Show that puppy eye smile. Thank you.

P.S: I am not to neglect my ninang obligations. I only lost you, not all of them. It has been a long time since I saw them. Kiss them for me for I miss those adorable kids like I miss you. And oh, no more testing the waters for I might be misconstrued again. Rest assured that my friends and I no longer talk about you. Mind you, it only happened once. With all these being written here, I do hope that forgiveness might spring into the depths of your heart. Can’t wait for a PM to pop in my window that reads “I have forgiven you and I have let go of whatever happened between us. I am happy now and thank you for whatever it may cause”.

Lashing

I wonder why he's letting me know that he's following me at i.ph. Tsk. He could hove done is discreetly and berate me in his thoughts. Tsk. I hate how he implies that I am a liar. Never did I divulge information that those happened on one account. Really, comprehension does suffer when you have poor retention and when your sources are not that reliable to begin with.

Did I explain and defend my side? No. What for? I could have defended myself very well and win my points decisively. But I am not going to waste my precious time on things that are no longer relevant in my life.It will not change the status quo, anyways. Remember, I am a rapist. And I will always be.

Just continue being happy with your state now. Love sincerely and everything will slowly fall in its places. I have respected you in many ways more than you think. Loved you on best ways possible.

And if there's someone who deserves to get what is due to whom, it is I who deserve it. You know it in your heart. You put me through hell and back. Now, learn to forgive me (for whatever pains I have caused you, if there are any) and start to move ahead (not that I am saying that you're not over us, ah?).

Someday, I'd wish to see you offering a smile or a hand to me. Like how I witnessed your unexpected reunion with your Paulinian ex girlfriend. So long, love bug. Someday.

Remembering the days...

How did the two of you meet?

This was the question I had to endure almost everytime I am with him. The usual “common friend” excuse was what I always answer. Then, I would veer away from the topic like it was something very forbidden to talk about.

Well, not really forbidden.

But it was something I was never that proud of. Okay, let’s put it this way. I love answering trivia questions in almost any site that I get to visit. Him, on the other, loves music.

“Oh, tao ka pala”

In one of my busiest trivia days, I got a PM from some “Scoffield” wannabe asking if I am a human being for he thought that it was only a computer aided thingy that was answering the trivia questions correctly. Indeed, I am and you are disturbing my streak. Hahaha.

convinced. decided.

Information Bulletin for AY 2010-2011

This Information Bulletin is for applicants planning to take the U.P. Law Aptitude Examination (LAE). The LAE is a requirement for admission to the U.P. College of Law. For school year 2010-2011, the LAE will be administered on Sunday, 22 November 2009, in U.P. Diliman, U.P. Cebu, U.P. Baguio, U.P. Davao and U.P. Visayas.

­Admission to the U.P. College of Law is on a competitive basis and based solely on merit. The Admissions Committee shall base their decision on the applicant’s LAE Examination Grades and General Weighted Average (GWA) in the undergraduate course.

The LAE consists of objective tests designed to measure certain abilities and skills necessary to succeed in the U.P. College of Law. The test subjects include Communication Skills, Reading Comprehension and Vocabulary, Critical Thinking, and Verbal and Quantitative Reasoning.

*************************

Five years from now, my name will be posted outside of the Supreme Court. Not because I committed any violations, rather, I passed the Bar Exam. Hahaha. Yes, I am now really decided to pursue and achieve my childhood dream of becoming a lawyer. Atty. Lea Kathryn D. Peña sounds appealing to me. Well, why not? I feel that I have what it takes to survive law schooling—sense of justice, diligence, determination, passion, and high EQ.

In pursuing this dream of mine, I can only think of 4 schools that can help me actualize this. UP, ADMU, SCB and UST in particular order. These 4 schools speak highly of quality education and high passing rate. I am now ready to go through the admission process—application, nerve wrecking exams, interviews and long queues of enrolment.

Everyone wants to be admitted in UP Law and I am one of them. Getting in to this prestigious school is one hell of an adventure— the dreaded LAE and heart attack inducing panel interview after. And as for the survival? Well, it is a different story all together. Having finished my Undergrad in this University, I know very well the kind of system they run. The professors are slave drivers. Mediocrity is a big no-no. “Suntok sa Buwan ang LAE”.

Next is Ateneo. They say that it is one of the better schools after UP. In recent Bar results, Ateneans are consistently in the Top 10. Getting quality education has a price for it. More than enough means are needed in order to survive here.

Then there’s Beda. This is where prominent and celebrity lawyers studied. If not for the controversies 4 years ago, I would enroll here without thinking twice. Rumors have it that the quality of education is not as competitive as before.

Lastly, UST. Honestly, I never wanted to become a Tomasino. But as fate would have it, it seems that I am España ward next academic year. The quality of education is not bad. It would be to my advantage if I enroll here because I’d be inheriting all the notes of Kuya Martin. Hahaha. That would certainly make schooling a lot manageable and tolerable. And as for my social life? I think that wouldn’t post a problem because as friends would tease me, I am “USTE boy magnet”. Hahaha

Gee, I am uber excited. Wish me luck!

miss me?

I hope you do because I did miss you, baby. I have been through a lot lately. I am going to post some of my ramblings later today.

cross posting

I am really thinking of cross posting since I cannot leave you, Blogspot. Grrrr! And I find myself uber stupid for still including F in some of my post. I.ph should not include him. Grrr!

I must relax now. Point taken.

I'll be leaving on Sunday. And stupid me again, I want to see him for the very last time. Tsk.

Tiring Tuesday

My day was supposed to start with a jogging with COCO love. But because it rained heavily this morning, Coco and I just decided to get more zzzZZZ. After 3 hours of deep slumber, I realized that I haven’t fed him yet and so I hurriedly prepared his brunch. Sorry, baby.

After ensuring that everything is all fixed and settled, I went online until 3:30 pm. I spent most of the time reading the forum. Hahaha. I posted a lot today, replied to queries and answered to comments. As usual, I had a hard time leaving the cyber world.

I have a 5pm interview at IBM for the International project they were offering me. Well, I came in late for my appointment. Luckily, my interviewer was late too. Thank you, Lord. The interview went fine. I guess, I set a good impression to the 2 hiring managers. Thanks, OrCom. Hahaha.

After the interview, I hurriedly went to ULTRA in Pasig to meet Jenny, a fellow GTalker to pick up gift certificates from Rudy Project. It was worth 2000 and I wonder what eye wear that 2000 can buy. Tsk. Must save up to buy that aviator shades.

On my way out to ULTRA, some guy with a nice body went to me. He introduced himself, Chris. He is a 3rd year Business Administration student from UST. Guess what? he is a varsity player, a fencing player at that! maybe that explains the body. Whoa, super yummy shoulders.Hahaha. Twas so nice of him to accompany me to Shangri-la so that I can take the MRT to Trinoma. Sayang talaga, ang bata pa nya.

I am also scheduled today to meet the multiply seller of dog stuff. I ordered a pack of 16pc. dog diaper and Whiff shampoo for Coco. Those items burned another hole in my pocket. Hay. very costly. But because I am running late for that meet up, I asked Lamby to meet him instead. I guess the transaction went well because Lamby handed the items to me. Super cutie dog diapers. And the shampoo smells so terrific that I want to give Coco a bath. Hahaha.

I met up with Lamby and April at Teriyaki Boy for our late dinner. We indulged on Katsudon. Actually, it’s the only donburi dish left so we had no choice but to take that. The dish is delish enough. I think that Teriyaki Boy has the best Katsudon, ever.

On my way home, I realized how I missed Coco and his ways of showing gratitude. To my surprise, he is still up. Patiently waiting for me. I love you, baby.

like a real baby

<

Coco sleeping like a real baby. So cute!

missed blogspot

Hey you, I thought I can leave you already. Guess what, I missed you and I am about to update you. What's new? Read this:

1. I just had another hair cut from Bench Lab. Shorty hair at its best. Had my mane treatment along with Lamby. Then we devoured my favorite signature dishes from NorthaPark.





2. I availed EcoTools. Make up brushes must have!



3. My first RedMango and Recipes experience with Richard and the rest. i missed them so much. So many liberating thoughts.



4. Lastly, my new baby: a toy poodle. I named him COCO. Do I have to justify the given name? Go figure. Hahaha



5. I just resigned from my uber boring job at Market. I kissed 30k a month goodbye. But I am going to say hello to glamor and corporate life on October 1. Every aspect of my life is finally falling into places. In their respective places, at that!

Life has been good to me. I love life. Meaning, everything about it. Carpe Diem!

Loots

Of Broken Spirit

Crushed to the very details.

one sweet night

The future Store Manager and the Department Manager initially planned to watch "KimmyDora" but due to Store M's tardiness, they weren't able to catch the screening time. And so,the two of them decided to indulge on sweets. Hence, ...the album title.

Entrees:
Beef Teppanyaki
Chicken Ballotine

Dessert:
Choco Overload
Turtle Pie

Truly, a one sweet night without burning a hole on our pockets. 5 spoons

ELF. Anja. DQ. Lamby

I am happy.

sick

I called in sick at work today. My defenses are down again. Tsk. My lymph nodes are busted again. Please, I don't want another transfusion. I am sick and tired of those treatments.

Rar. I can't find my BDJ planner. I need some entries there. Tsk. Natapon ko na ba?

Change of heart

well, what if I had a chance of heart and I decided to just stay? Will you be mine again? Can we start all over again?

I don't know what I want but I do know that I still want you.

confirmed

Yes, I'm leaving on September 27, 2009. Exactly 21 days from now, 3 weeks at the most.

Yes, I am feeling sad. Having second thoughts.

23rd

I feel so sad. Today could have been our 23rd. I miss him. I miss him so much. I long to see him again. I will see you again when I'm ready to hold your hand and when you're ready to hold mine...

Tempura Friday

We never get tired of eating at Tempura Grill. Or atleast, I can speak for myself. It has been an addiction to eat there once a week.

MMU

I am really falling in love with mineral make-ups. and so, after work, I headed to the cosmetics section to buy my first ever mineral powder foundation by Maybelline and facial wipes of Neutragena. I so love the coverage.

Of Imelda and Market Boys

Hows my day?

It was boring until some regal lady went to my Department. Imelda Marcos herself asked me to shop for her. Gee, may future pala ako as personal shopper. Too bad that i left my cam phone in my cubicle. Tsk. One rare moment that I could get that up close to someone who loves shoes more than I do.

At around 5pm, my promodizer for Riviera Seiko called me in my cubicle to inform me that her boss is outside and wanted to speak with me. I was summoned only to be asked which style of wallet is my choice. Hahaha. Another freebie coming up next week. I love this part of my work.

After work, I went out to have after work snack with two of my Metro boys, Nash and Mario. We had the usual noodles and ice cream food trip. Plus cam whoring. My Market market stay is bearable because of these two. Thank you for the friendship.

Effin tired

Good thing that I only have 9 days left at work. I feel so jaded.

Holidays. Shopping. Foot in the Door. Angels

Today, the Filipino people are commemorating the deeds and sacrifices of our forefathers to preserve our sovereignty and liberation from the over hundreds of years of domination by other countries.

And what a coincidence that today's also my day off. And what better way to celebrate it? By indulging to my whims and caprices. Hahaha. It may be shallow but I feel happy today for the very reason that I feel like a normal Filipino even for this day only because thousands of them are resting too.

Instead of having another trip to the salon, I went shopping with my loves. I splurged on shoes (I bought 3 pairs at that!), bag, cosmetics and of course, FOOD!

A real case of love at first sight. Haha. My Black crisscross peep toe heels is my new baby. I enjoyed my day even if it burned a hole in my pocket.

My day would have been perfect if some nuisance did not send me PMs. Yes, as in many PMs that I never bothered to reply even once. I don't want to subject myself from any form of foot in the door tactics. NEVER AGAIN! I managed to live my life without him, then why bother to ask details? Besides, I don't believe in the idea of dead people resurrecting from their graves. I hope that I made my point loud and clear, "you are already dead".

I nearly cried tonight as I read Lamby's SMS. How sweet of him. The SMS reads:

Tnx Lea n Eklok. Super enjoy! Madel sayang wala ka! D tuloy kumpleto ang lambert's angels. Bigla ako nalungkot ng ako nalang nasa fx. Narealize ko na magiging kulang na angels ko kasi my aalis. The 3 of you are the most treasured girlfriends of mine! Tnx.

Whoa, Thanks too for saving my day. Lamby, your fallen angel will be back soon. I am not going to make my absence felt. I will always be around.

P.S: Will post the pics tomorrow.

Moments are what makes a relationship.

Dates, gifts, courtship efforts shouldn't be the basis of relationships. It's quality time together. It's those moments when your heart skips a beat, when you feel truly alive. These moments are those that inspires you to be better. And when problems arise, you can't always cover it with flowers and gifts. That's not how you solve them, it only makes people better. If every time you kiss and make up without even finding a solution for things, its kinda like decorating wounds with ribbons instead of applying antiseptics and bandages. You don't buy apologies

spent but happy

Retail therapy it is! I love, love life! I love you. I am happy again.

Tempura Cravings

I woke up this morning with an SMS in my Globe phone from Lamby. He was asking about my shift so that we could meet later today.

*****
To the most important man in my life, a Happy and Blessed Birthday! Daddy, I missed you and I love you so much. I will see you soon.

Happy First

Time really flies so fast. Who would have thought that I'd be celebrating my first today. The first taught me a lot of things. The stuff that i learned are so valuable that I am thinking of redrawing my life again.

*****
When I board the FX to work this morning, one station played a ceratin song that almost hit me. I don't know the title yet but the lines go:

I must forgive you
And you must forgive me too
It's the only thing that's left that we haven't try to do
One thing I'm sure will work
That we haven't tried before
Let's not bring the past back anymore

*****

I am really happy where I am right now. I am busy writing letters to those I will left behind. Just a few but it's making me cry like there's no tomorrow.

Up

My first 3D experience.

Tuesday Love

I always loved Tuesdays but today is an exception. I woke up very early this morning so as not to be late. Manong drove me to MRT North Avenue station just on time but when I was about to board the MRT car, I remembered that I left my Swipe ID on my other bag.

I tried calling manong so that I'd come home with him to get the ID. too bad that he was past the Balintawak interchange. I had no choice but to take FX going to Bulacan. I reached home around 10am. After getting my swipe, I immediately went to tabang to take another ride to North Avenue.

My swipe says that I am in by 12:05pm. Almost 3 hours late from my shift. Effin day. Just when I was too excited like the molecules in gaseous phase. Hahaha.

It will never be Tuesday Love if nothing special happened today. Hihihi. I am getting all the kilig lately. Fetching me in Market, Dining in Serendra and Sending me home in one piece. Isn't he nice?

If only I could love again. Slowly but surely, I am facing my fears head on. I can now go to Trinoma sans the sad and empty feeling.

*****
Toby invited me to watch Up in 3D version tomorrow in Trinoma. Gee, I am super excited. My first movie after Transformers 2.

shorty

My day off will never be complete without me visiting Fix. I had the usual Powerdose treatment for my rebonded hair and then I mustered enough courage to cut it real short this time. Bob as in bob cut! Hahahaha.

One friend commented that "napakadami mo naman pera, di ka maubusan". Gee, I am earning 30k a month and I deserved to be pampered naman. Hihihi. I already lost count on the times I missed weekends and holidays because of that demanding work.

Also, an ex of mine would always blurt out that "kasalanan maging pangit kapag may pera ka". And so i am spending my earnings on the things that could improve my self confidence and esteem.

I have never look this good. Jesse james' "I look good without you" really fits me.

Sunday Drama

Every Sunday seems to be a day for drama. I can't clear my mind. And I can't stop myself from crying.

Can't help but agree.

Someday, we'll forget the pains, who caused the tears and why we cried.

We would finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge but letting things unfold in their own ways and that life is a blank book. After all, what matters is not the first but the last chapter which shows how well we ran the race.

So smile, laugh, forgive, believe and love over and over again.

*****

Happy Birthday, Ken! I'll see you on December. Excited na ako sa first Christmas ko sa States.

Take 3?

If Embassy Friday wont push through, I might as well eat at Tempura tonight instead.

*****

None took place between the two. But I had DQ with Gracielle tonight at Trinoma. I so love my Banana Split. So many tropical fruits in it. Yummy again.

*****

All things end, all things stop, all things fade. Greatest feeling in the world? It's when you start feeling good again after feeling awful for a long time.

*****

"The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I'd write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you'd gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn't want to ever forget that - Nicholas Sparks"

Of Special Holidays and Long Weekends

Kuya Ryan is in HK since yesterday.

Lambert will have Bora weekend.

My siblings are playing Wii because they don't have classes tom.

Everyone in FB is thrilled about the long weekend.

But not me. I cannot honestly distinguish the days since I started working in Market. I get to have my rest day on Mondays wherein everyone is at work. I have missed on several holidays and weekends. I skipped attending Sunday masses in Guiguinto.

Tonight, I envy those who are working in Quezon City. They are too lucky for they only worked 3 days this week. Look at Kuya Ryan, he went to HK with office mates since Wednesday. Indeed, they are taking advantage of special holidays and long weekend.

Ditto with Lambert. The Rebisco people are on board to Bora tonight until Sunday. I am so green with envy! I wish that I could go there before my hibernation.

I wish that I could spend the long weekend like I used to. ZZZzzzz, lappie, chips and movies.

If there's one good thing about tom, it'll be the double pay and less congested MRT.

Philippine Daily Inquirer

And the work load continues...

Today, I rendered another 2 hours of over time just to cater to the whims of PDI's Lifestyle section writers. Now, I can't really say if I am still thrilled with all the representations and attention that my Department is getting from these big publishing names.

I can feel myself very exhausted from the very long board meetings. People keep on arguing and debating on what is hip and what is not. The pool of writers themselves can't even think and defend a very good theme for Sunday's issue.

Slowly, I am getting bored touring and debating to my department. I can recite my items even without batting an eyelash and stuttering. In one of the area tours, one writer asked about my personal details because according to her, my name is quite familiar. I simply replied it could be the article I contributed to the Young Blood section. Then she agreed and asked about the status of my heart. I just said that i am happy with my life.

And to end this very energy consuming day, I think that I deserved this pint of Banana Split from FIC. Thanks mom for always cheering me up. Now, I am going to sleep with a smile in my face. And hopefully dream of another pint. Hahaha.

Mega Magazine

I had so many meetings today.

Just before lunch, I attended the OIC meeting with Ms. Kat Rodriguez wherein I was bullied by other officers into staying in the company. They even asked me on what magic I possess for almost tripling the sales for periods 7 and 8.

Then, there's the dreaded meeting with the consultants. Ms. Gigi was nice enough with me. But I pity Ms. Leslie for all the lashing she got from Ms. Gigi. Twas so difficult to handle Ladies' Shoes Department. There's so many SKU's and variance to work on.

Finally, a meeting and presentation with Mega Magazine staff. I feel so elated to be in the boardroom. Imagine, they were all asking for my opinions in certain articles and items to be featured in the next issue. Hahaha. I am almost tempted to volunteer on writing the article myself. Being the supervisor of Ladies' Accessories and Bags, it is my pleasure to have our items published in that glossy and classy pages of Mega.

I am enjoying my work at Market. Aside from magazine meetings, I also get to have freebies. Hahaha. The best so far was the Euphoria Blossom by CK given by LuxAsia merchandiser. And not to mention the many Gift Certificates.

the many break up songs

When you break up with a significant other, all you want to do is stay in bed, curl up with some tissue, and listen to a good, sad song while crying your eyes out. Maybe you want a loud, angry song too, or a triumphant “I’m-glad-it’s-over” song you can bop to. However you feel, you need a song. Here are 10 of the best, anthemic breakup songs of all times (in no particular order).


1. "I Will Survive" (Gloria Gaynor)
I will survive
as long as I know how to love
I know I’ll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It’s the breakup song even your mom knows the lyrics to. It’s a classic, and great for singing karaoke to with your girlfriends. The upbeat tempo and campy appeal make this a great choice when breaking up means breaking free.


2. "Kwarto" (Sugarfree)

Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon

A beautiful, melancholy song for when a relationship has ended and all you are left with is a lonely room and a box full of memories.

3. "Without You" (Mariah Carey)

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know

This song captures exactly how you feel when you break up with someone and realize what a mistake you’ve made.

4. All Out of Love (Air Supply)

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

It seems that Air Supply has got breakup songs down to an art. They did the original "Without You," and have done other breakup songs such as "Goodbye." But this has got to be their best. It’s got a memorable melody and a chorus you can belt out to.

5. "Survivor" (Destiny’s Child)

Now that you are out of my life, I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya-But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without ya-But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without ya-I laugh harder

So what if you’ve broken up? It’s not the end of the world. In fact, it’s the beginning of a new chapter in your life. This is a song for all you strong, independent women out there who don’t want to waste another minute moping about your ex.

6. "How Do I Live Without You" (Trisha Yearwood)

Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You’re my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you'd take away everything good in my life


This song captures quite well the feelings of helplessness and loss you feel after a breakup.

7. "You Oughta Know" (Alanis Morissette)

'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, as the old saying goes. What better song to help release your anger? It’s got smart and biting lyrics. This song rocks, and so do you. Let him know that in no uncertain terms.

8. "Someday We’ll Know" (New Radicals)

Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can’t stop driving, I don’t know why
So many questions, I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind


When it’s been ages since your breakup but you just can’t get over him, this song hits you straight in the gut with its bittersweet and heartfelt lyrics.

9. "Before I Let You Go" (Freestyle)

I wish that it could be just like before
I know I could've given you so much more
Even though you know I'd given you all my love
I miss your smile, I miss your kiss
Each and every day I reminisce
'Coz baby it's you that I'm always dreaming of

A huge hit in the late ‘90s with easy to remember lyrics for when you don’t want a breakup to happen, but have accepted the fact that it will.

10. "One Last Cry" (Brian McKnight)

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

This song is melodramatic, but in a good, soulful way. Its infectious R&B rhythm and lines people can relate to make it one of the best breakup songs of the last few decades.

RD

I miss waking up with the sunshine all over my face. It has been over a month that I would usually get up sans the sunrise. since its my rest day today, I am loving the sunshine as it blinds me.

Having breakfast in bed is one thing that I missed most. Eating toasted french bread and sipping hot choco while I lazily check my mail in my lappie. Can anything get better than that in the morning?

I almost stayed in bed the whole day. I got too addicted to FB that I can't get up. FB conversations are so stimulating and revealing. Gee, I am connected with Ardie again. I can still remember the HS days when I ditched him. Haha. He looks better now and he seems to improve intellectually.

Twas also today that one of my FB post hit 59 comments. They love me enough not to let me go. Whoa, enough of drama. All my bags are packed. And yes, I am ready to go. I also planned my gala until February next year. I am going to spend my Christmas in California with Ken's family. And i hope to meet Leslie, too. And on Valentine's day, I am going to meet up with the brats in HK. We will go shopping and we will DisneyLand ourselves. Hahaha. I am trying hard not to be too excited. No jinx, please?

Finally, Monday will not be called Pamper day if I am not to visit a spa or a salon. I had my mane treated today at Fix. My 2k is all worth it. I lurve the results. Hihihi. Who would have thought that I am nursing a broken heart? Or am I still? Hahaha. I don't know. But I am happy right now and I'd like to keep the status quo.

survived

I survived the last today. And it felt good.

FB and FS invites made me confused. What shall I do?

take two

Gee, I can't get enough of my all time favorite Yakitori Don that's why I had another serving at Tempura Japanese Grill with Bilog and Majoy. And for dessert, I had my new found love in green tea ice cream.

Sleepy.

My first ever SALE

I feel so tired today. There are so many tasks required of me. There was never a chance when i could eat my lunch on time. There's so much pressure and expectations at workplace. Why do I have to be Lea---the UP Manila graduate? Can I just be Lea---the workaholic employee of Market Market? Kidding.

Today is the first day of our 3-day "pay day" sale. My first ever SALE experience. The volume of people is tolerable. There isn't so much customers complaints. I guess we raked in enough moolah to maintain the top department spot. Hahaha.

Work really helped me a lot on my everyday undertakings. It kept me busy so that I could veer away from nonsensical thoughts. Yes, I am still a GC in a way. I bring home work loads so that I could present it the following day. Finally, I could utter the words "Thank You" because I have a slave driving job.

Thought for Today:

Forgiving is absolutely the most powerful way to get rid of anger. Forgetting is the most effective way to heal and move forward. Both are difficult, yet, necessary for us to live a better and a happy life.

dont make me change my mind

I came home earlier than the usual. I did my routine--- take a bath, brush my teeth and apply the many sticky creams. After all the kikay thingy, I went online. Tsk. and I wasn't prepared to read what was written on my FB wall. and it read:

I was looking at our pics in my cam,the sleepover,last night's fun dinner, then it suddenly came into my mind that you'll be leaving soon.it just felt like it was too soon, and you might laugh about this, but i cried! Haha. I just remembered the days or should i say the nights that i literally ran to you for comfort and to seek advice. It just felt sad that i wont be able to do that anymore since you are too far.haha! Seriously,i just want to thank you with my utmost sincerity,friend. And so we should make the most out of your remaining days,and party hard!:-P

Gee, I hate reading this. A note like this make me lose all my emotions. Damn, I don't need all this drama. I hate it not because I hate the people making mushy comments but because I don't want to give myself any room to change my mind. I feel that I have lost enough to even let this opportunity slip my hands. It is all that's left for me. I lost a partner so the next logical thing to do is to get rich. Hahaha.

Whew, as it draws near the 29th, my heart is breaking into pieces. Am I ready to leave everything behind? Well, I should. And I will.

The long wait is over

Indeed, patience is a virtue.

After more than 5 months of waiting for Tempura branch in Trinoma to open, I was finally able to eat my all time favorite yakitori don for dinner. It wasn't actually planned. We were supposed to watch "And I Love You So" but due to my tardiness, we weren't able to catch the 8pm screening. And so the Tempura dinner with my loves.

Must try: Green tea ice cream for dessert. 5 spoons. I can still taste the velvety texture in my tongue. Yummy.

In the circle of your arms, I will watch as worlds collide.

Work Updates:

-Still no luck with Ms. Jullie regarding my resignation. Help me, God.

-I did my first canvassing at Mega Mall. It was so much fun. I wish that i could do it everyday. Kudos to SM's Events Marketing team, today's fashion and beauty party was successful. I got to meet models like Joey Mead, Nicolette Bell, Raya Manaquil and Ornusa Cadness. Slender, bony and sexy---my ideal body. Haha. In my dreams.

-I wore the dress I bought in Women (Glorietta) especially for that canvassing. Everyone commented that I lost so much weight. And the dress looked good on me.

-I have 2 pending reports due tomorrow. I must work on that real soon or else, I'll be reprimanded. Whew.

-We will have a 3 day sale on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And that meant working my ass off on weekends again.

Later

. . . I am going out on a movie date with some friends. I wish to enjoy it. Wrong, I'll see to it that I will enjoy it. And for that, I'll wear a dress. Hahaha

More updates later.

Up

Wouldn't it be nice to have more zzzz? Darn, I hate to be awake in this wee hour of the day. I don't want to think of weak and irrelevant stuff. Rar. Mt subconscious is very busy again, reminding me that today is the 16th. Tsk.

And so, on what could have been our 16th, I am forgiving him and myself for the failed attempt. Everything that happened after the 21st are all forgiven now but of course, never forgotten. I couldn't be bitter for so long. No amount of conditioning will make me hate you. I still wish for your happy ending. I sincerely want you to be happy.

It feels so good to finally let go and move on from the ordeal.

Happy because...

Twas my off today and it's too bad that I wasn't able to update this again. Tsk. Is this another case of "I am too happy to blog" again? Oh no, tis can't be. It'll be a very busy week for me. Let me vent but take note, I am not complaining. Hahaha.

Reasons why I am happy today:

1. I get to rest and do normal stuff before employment.

2. Seeing it before my very eyes freed me from unnecessary drama. We call it in debate class as Prima Facie evidence.

3. Kelly Pickler's "best days of your life" is my new anthem. Hahaha.

4. It'll be Lady Gaga's concert tomorrow.

5. And I love you so opening on Wednesday. And yes, I'll be watching it with friends.

6. It'll be Friday Emabassy and Ascend with my sorority sisters. They call it "coming out party".

7. It's pay day on Friday and I will have so much moolah again.

8. Off to south tom for more stress.

9. My first canvassing experience at SM Makati and Landmark on Wednesday.

10. God is always good. he never fails to carry me when the load is uber heavy to carry. Papa God, thank you po. I love you.

My days are numbered. I'll make sure that I will enjoy every single day left. No ghost to haunt me. You are not to affect my mood. Haha. Funny, but I still wish for your happy ending. I am happy for you. may you find the mother in her. Hihihi.

tsk,

I wasn't able to resign today. Another failed attempt with Ms. Jullie.

Hello Haggard Weekend

Here are my Things to do for this weekend (alone).

Aug. 08

Finish the Variance Report
-Kids’
-Ladies’
-Men’s

Prepare my weekly CSL Reports

Tender my resignation letter

Attend the 7:30am Awarding Ceremony

Summarize departmental reports
-attendance
-tardiness
-violations

Work on my bimonthly Learning Report

Aug. 09

Submit the weekly CSL Report
-Kids’
-Ladies’
-Men’s

Have the IT Dept. check the final variance report

Submit the Learning Report and the Daily Journal

Meet with the Store Manager (goodluck!)

Department Eat out for Lilybeth’s Birthday

Drafts

I am feeling too sleepy to draft my resignation. Why are they holding me now? I made myself very clear that I have pending applications abroad. Hay. It'll be our awarding ceremony tomorrow, the departments that I am handling are ranks 1 and 3. Hahaha. My supervisory skills are great. Market is just bitter to lose someone as great as I am.

September 29 is the date. I am feeling half hearted now.

Unexpected Phone Call

That's all I need and I am off to recovery.
* * * * *
This will be a year of healing for me. It's about becoming whole where you've been in pieces, gaining strength where there has been vulnerability and removing regret and resentment. At various points in the past, all these things have stopped me from fulfilling my true potential. Each time I have reached within myself for a talent, an objective insight or a simple ability to enjoy life, I have encountered a memory of a time when something went badly wrong. Even now, to think about this experience makes me feel negative, pessimistic or just plain afraid.

Here comes a chance to look at what has been difficult and ask why. I also get to see how various factors which once seemed powerful and prevalent are now weak and irrelevant. I need to regain a precious sense of perspective and in the process of restoring this level of understanding, I should start seeing how to forgive but not forget. Whenever I feel that I can't forgive, I hurt myself far more than I hurt the perpetrator of whatever harm has been done. Not forgetting would simply mean that there is a reminder on not committing that same mistake again. We have to keep the memory but let go of the pain. That is healing's great challenge and the reason why some people find it hard. Sometimes anger, resentment and irritation become forces that motivate us. That's not always bad, but it eats us up within. I need to stop something from eating me up from within. I need to look at why it is that keeps making mistakes or going round in circles.

There is something superwoman about me. When I am at my best, nothing can stop me. But not when I am hurting. Not when something within me isn't straight within itself. This year, I have to get to move on. All kinds of help from different set of people are highly appreciated. But I know that I have to be willing to put aside a pain that has long informed my choices - not always in a positive way. I have to face my own darkness and replace it with light. The courage to do that may take a while to find but it is something I will only benefit from finding.

variance

I was too tired and sleepy last night to even go online. Hence, the no Blogspot update. I am still sleepy now but the variance report is too over powering that I really have to work in this wee hour.

Rar. My head is aching like hell. I feel like vomiting.

* * * * *

Today could have been our 22nd. Sad.

raindrops

The rain is too hard that I feel the need to turn off the fan and grab a thicker linen. I badly need some warmth, anyone?

seeing is

... more painful than knowing. I don't know what's wrong with me but I keep on torturing myself. I love those self inflicted pain that make me feel depressed for days. Just when I thought that I am perfectly fine, discoveries will hit me ten folds. I should always heed the old adage that says "what you don't know, will not hurt you".

I saw it with my very eyes. All smiles. What a sight to behold. I envy you, really. I missed to be in that place. It pains to see how things have turned. All that's left for me were memories that will never ever happen again.

I am back to square one AGAIN. Feeling hurt and bitter. Maybe going away is the answer. Maybe when I am million miles away, I can muster the courage to leave the past behind. And have a non-complicated life.

I want to be happy, again.

To F

After a very good day today, I decided to open my lappie to check mails and other stuff. I have no idea that I am in for a big surprise. I will surely blog tonight. But the content I had in my mind was all about the realizations I had in this Sunday's sermon by our Parish priest. But things turned upside down.

Friendster is the last social networking site that I usually open. Out of missing the adorable kids, I clicked on their account. I was stunned to see that Ate Cha and I no longer have a common friend. I can't believe it with my very eyes. I refreshed the site again. Voila! He already deleted me. I froze in disbelief. Then the hurt feeling hit me. How could he do that to me? Does he hate me that much?

For the first time, I can now say that I abhor him. I hate him so much. It pains me to feel this. I thought that I have already moved on but this development still affected me. More than the PSP and DSLR confession, tonight's discovery caused me so much pain and hatred that I want to tear every piece of memory that I saved.

I can't help but cry. Pour all the emotions that I kept for so long. Until the very end, I tried to save everything that I can. I did my best in that relationship. I just don't feel that I deserved all these. Even after the falling out, I remained to be nice with F. I refrained myself from having any verbal tussle with him.

To F, you are so unfair. I hate you from my very bones. I just wish that someone will love you again despite your bearing. You are such a loser. Deleting me in your FS will not delete the fact that I made you happy. You are at your happiest when we were together. Wala ng magmamahal sayo the way I did.

What Weekend?

Since I started working seriously, I am becoming too lazy to update this blogsite. My will power isn't that strong to fight off the desire to just sleep. Gee, my work is taking a toll on me. I cannot even distinguish the days. Everyday seemed to be just the same, all work.

It is so disheartening to work on weekends. Imagine that everyone is at home---sleeping leisurely and while I am writing reports. Grrr. If I could only pull the time to 6:30pm, I would. The volume of work is so high that I always miss my coffee break. I can't even go online at work because I fear that I would spend more time chatting to YM friends than working on my tasks.

However, it is not all bad. I am proud to say that in just a short period of time, I was able to learn a lot when it comes to retailing. I feel so adept in the daily operations. I get to practice my Marketing, Public Relations, and Organizational Development knowledge. Plus the pay is good enough to finance my whims. Ang dami ko na ulit pera!

It'll be my off tomorrow. And my weekend will be spent for God and for pampering. After the morning mass, I will visit Tita Chit for my DP and skin bleaching. Afterwards, I will have my hair treated at Tony's. Also, I will get lots of ZZZzzz.

So what is weekend? Weekend is about working my ass off to pay for my pampering endeavors.

Tired

I am effin tired today. That work is so consuming! Grrrr.

at BGC

I am really starting to abhor the schedule. Going to BGC is a real sacrifice. The work is so boring. And whenever I take the MRT ride, I feel like I am being raped.

I am too sleepy to continue this entry. Blogspot, I missed you. Tom nalang ulit.

Yesterday

. . . was fun. After my sojourn in the South, I met up with my two girlfriends-April and Madi. It was only meant to be a dinner at Madi's but I came to Bulacan around 10pm. The dinner ended ten minutes before 12midnight thus Madi offered an impromptu sleepover.

The sleepover was also fun. We did another episode of camera whoring and talked about personal issues. It was so liberating because we were able to confide our deepest thoughts. All single but happy.

Kumusta benta? Uhhmm. Excuse me, I am not a sales clerk nor a cashier. You're not so funny efforts to pissed me off were no longer affecting me. I am so apathetic when it comes to you. You are not worth my time.

Of Taguig and of Disappearance

Today marked my first working day at S6. I was asked to report there to participate in the fire drill. It was actually a seminar on what to do and the actual drill will be conducted next week. I don't know if I'll be able to participate on that because I don't know yet when I'll be back from the South.

My first day was okay. It was tiring, consuming and boring. It was tiring because I had to do some rounds and roving in my department. Checked the display items, the bearing of the sales clerks and the over-all appearance of the selling area. It was consuming because I also did the inventory of the newly arrived items in the warehouse. I didn't realize that I spent most of my afternoon there that i eventually missed my coffee break. Moreover, I can say that the job of a Department Supervisor is plain boring.

If there's one funny thing that happened today, I would be my SMS conversation with F. Disappear is the word for today. Hahaha. I can't believe how he could still manage to assume. Tsk. Is he the only F in the world? Feelingero talaga si F.

Jaded Sunday

So many things happened today and I find myself oh so jaded. I never got a decent sleep last night because I am so feverish. And my head, back and hips are aching like hell.

This morning, I took the Career Service Exam or the Civil Service Exam. I had a hard time answering those 170 items. I don't know if it was because of my flu or the questions are real difficult. Hahaha. Actually, the Math part of the exam was easier compared to English grammar. It took me 2 hours to finish the exam when it was designed to be taken for 3 hours. I don't know if it is a good sign or what, but I am hoping to pass that test. Gee, nakakahiya naman kapag bumagsak ako.

After the exam, I ate along Timog. I was a bit nostalgic as I see the familiar signages where F and I frequent. Out of missing him, I wasn't able to control the urge to send him SMS. He replied to my SMS. He even asked me where am I heading. Stupid me, I long to see him again.

Kudos to UP Fighting Maroons for winning the game against Ateneo.

sick again

Rar. I hate it. I hate my busted immune system. I am always sick on a weekly basis. Tsk. I hate feeling weak. I just wish that I may be able to pass my Civil Service exam given my sickness. Flu virus, why wont you go away? You are like F. Grrrrrr!

But I want lugaw. I am craving for lugaw. Anyone?

Fun Friday

I had a blast meeting those familiar faces. Twas only then that I found myself laughing real hard. Genuine happiness at that. It made me forget all the heartaches and problems I had in the past weeks.

Gee, what a way to celebrate my liberation. It has been a month since we broke up. But I must admit that I still miss him.

Provoked

Lord, I know that I have sinned a lot. Did things that are beyond morality. Not that I regret it but I am now sorry for those times. What I am going through right now is a lesson learned in a hard way. I went through a lot of emotional pain and torture but I am still trying to be strong. Carry me, Lord. The load is getting heavier everyday. Help me walk through these odds that I may show you how repentant I am.

Papa God, I am slowly learning my lessons. Please, do not burden me another human life within me. Not that I am declining the gift of parenthood but I don't think I am ready yet for the responsibilities. Lord, I don't want to rear a child alone. If there's something more painful than the PSP and DSLR confession, it would be his doubt on me. Isn't that unfair for him to think that I have been with other men? Lord, of all people, bakit sya pa un ganun? I am not asking him to love me anymore. Respect nalang sana.

If and ever that dreadful day comes, Lord, prepare me for the ordeal. Forgive me because he will never get to see my baby. Who needs someone like him? I can live without him. I don't need him.

Bless me, oh Lord tonight. Forgive me for the bad thoughts I have this very moment. I shouldn't be giving in to provocations. Make me strong. Carry me. Be with me, Jesus. Mama Mary, I seek your intercession in this predicament.

Amen.

SPaCE

I am now seriously considering to enroll myself in CSB's SPaCE non-degree program. It is for college graduates or professionals seeking to learn a new skill or strengthen competencies. Most programs are offered in consortium with professional and trade organizations and are handled by dedicated mentors and industry practitioners. Each program is composed of modules offered once a year. Each module is usually composed of six sessions held on Saturdays from 12:30pm to 7:30pm.

However, I am not yet decided on what field I want to concentrate. I am still torn between Human Resource Development and Organizational Development.

If you ask me why HR, I can say that I agree that the field of human resource management has been rapidly evolving to address newly emerging and increasingly complex areas of responsibility within the profession. HR specialists are being asked to understand and deal with a variety of important functions, including implementing and interpreting legal policy and procedure, administering intricate benefits and compensation programs, and dealing with potentially litigious workplace complaints. Today’s human resource specialists are faced with an unprecedented challenge in meeting the staffing needs of constantly changing organizations in an era of highly competitive labor markets. From strategic planning to cost/benefit analysis, HR managers play a key role in all facets of an organization.

With OD, I think it is more OrCom in nature. It will help a lot in providing managers, consultants, and staff a framework by which to analyze and clarify their dilemma, and put together a mix of Organization Development interventions aimed at overcoming it. At the end of the day, participants will be able to see their dilemma from their organizations’ structural, systemic, capability/ human resource and culture perspectives, determine the relationship of those perspectives, and identify and implement a mix of OD interventions appropriate for their situation.

The academic calendar is already set.

DIPLOMA IN HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT

• Performance Management (March 2010)
• HR Operations and Information Technology (May 2010)
• Industrial Relations (July 18 – Aug. 22, 2009)
• Human Resource Planning (Sept. 5 – Oct. 17, 2009)
• Development of the Training Programs (Oct. 24 - Dec. 12, 2009)
• Compensation, and Rewards Management (January, 2010)


DIPLOMA IN ORGANIZATION DEVELOPMENT

• Managing OD Essentials for Breakthrough Results (May 2010)
• Structuring Org. for Strategy Execution (July 18 - Aug. 22, 2009)
• Systematizing Excellence in Operations for
Strategic Effectiveness (Sept. 5 - Oct. 17, 2009)
• Disciplines and Tools for Org. Efficiency (Oct. 24 - Dec. 12, 2009)
• Corporate Comm. in Org. Culture (January 2010)
• Executive Leadership and HR Management in OD (March 2010)

Weird

Things are getting weird. I am actually not asking for any explanations or whatsoever. Blame it to my phone's send to all option. I am guilty of sending spam SMS last night but I never thought his name would still be in my phone book so I wasn't really that ready to read his SMS the morning after.

Weird. He told me that he made those things for me to hate him because that's what I wanted. Did I ever want myself be hurt by his actions? Tsk. I wonder why some people cannot take responsibility for their actions. You said those words yourself. You meant every word. WHAT YOU TOLD ME IS NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH! That's who you really are. You are a poseur, liar and user. For the love of God, be man enough and be responsible for your actions. Grow up!

Weird again. I don't hate you. I never did despite all the crappy things you did to me. And I don't know why. I may be hurt in the process but I can still find it in my heart to forgive you. I repeat, I don't hate you.

* * * * *
Oh crap, I don't have my period yet. Sweetie, you are two days late already. Don't torture me.

Meme Time

When I woke up this morning, I promised myself that I will start a healthy lifestyle. By healthy, I meant diet, exercise, skin treatments, and ample amount of sleep. If there's one good thing the separation taught me, maybe that is for me to take care of myself.

Diet
I will start my Lemon Detox diet on Monday. Promise! I don't have the ingredients with me. After my exam on Sunday, I will buy those. Besides, I can't really start detoxing today since it's my granny's birthday. You know, it's difficult to pass on delicious food. Hahaha. Plus FIC gave us free samples of Banana Split. Four spoons for that.

Exercise
I have been doing Pilates for almost 2 weeks now. I can see results as my core muscles are toning already. I also jog in the morning and do skipping ropes before I take a bath. I am getting really fit now. Who would have thought that I am nursing an ailment?

Skin Treatments
Since I frequent Sacred Hospital, I thought of continuing my Diamond Peeling sessions with Tita Chit. After 2 sessions, I can see some improvement. My skin seems to glow. Pimple marks are still visible but has improved alot. I don't even have pimples now. I am now religiously applying those creams. No pain, no gain. And Patience is indeed a virtue.

Sleep
This is what I lack. There was never a day that I can get enough zzzzzz. At night, my mind is too troublesome to even rest. I still think of what will happen in the next 10 weeks---how and to whom I am going to spend it. During daytime, I am too busy watching flicks or reading novels.

I am enjoying my "me time". I can do these things leisurely. I've got to love myself before someone else does. It's not too late for me to be vain. After all, who wouldn't want to be pretty and calm looking on her bed.

P.S: Goodnight, everyone. I should stop worrying now eventhough I lost my new phone with my number on it. Grr. I am now using my old Globe sim. Come on, Holy Spirit, deliver me from temptation. That I may control myself from sending him SMS.

Signing off,
Single L

Am I?

I knew it. I always find it hard to write whenever I am happy. I just thought that words are not enough to fully explain such feelings.

Lately, I have been feeling too lazy to blog. And I don't know why.Am I happy now? Have I found the elusive peace of mind? Have I totally moved on?

There's only one way to answer all these. I know how. But I don't have the guts and the will power to do so. Weird, but I no longer feel the pain. Days can pass without me even thinking of him. I actually think more of P than him now. And I even find myself smiling while writing this.

Am I happy now?

* * * * *

I should be having my period today but there isn't any. Gee, am I taking too much pain killers that I no longer feel myself PMS-ing? Lord, I can't be, it can't be. No! Please? Please? Please?

Come out, sweetie. Don't torture me with the thought of me carrying his. Twas a mistake that finally ended a month ago. Tsk. Wala na atang chance masave ang offsprings ko.

Am I carrying his?

Shall I?

Since I have been losing weight real fast, I still want to hasten the process in a healthy manner. With this predicament, I googled and googled until I chanced upon a water therapy called Lemon Detox Diet.

After quite a search, I am now contemplating to try the Lemon Detox Diet or Master cleanse. It became well-known after Beyonce reportedly lost 20 pounds in two weeks to prepare for her role in Dream Girls. The ingredients are readily available in any Healthy Options store. The diet requires the absence of solid food. That meant water and lemonade alone for a period of time.

The Diet

Upon waking up:
- Drink an 8 ounce glass of cold water and add 1 tablespoon of sea salt

Throughout the Day (around 6-12 glasses):
- Mix the following ingredients with an 8 ounce glass of very cold water:
-2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
-2 tablespoons pure maple syrup (Grade B)
-A pinch of cayenne pepper
*Also take at least 8 glasses of water during the day

Before going to bed:
-Take 1 serving of Smooth Move Tea

The Diet Period:
The diet lasts between 3 to 14 days.

Beginners are advised to try the 3-day plan to get the body used to the idea of detox. And may want to do it monthly. But for others who really want to lose weight (like me), the detox can be done for a longer period of time.

* * * * *
Now, I have a drive to go to Trinoma. Must buy those ingredients at Healthy Options. Tsk. I have no more reasons to skip claiming the PictureBooks.

* * * * *
SHOUT OUT: Happy Birthday, Granny. More birthdays to come. I love you.

Numb

I don't know if it's because of the medicines or of the trauma from the previous relationship that made me feel this way. No matter how many times P profess of undying and faithful love, I just can't feel it.

I wish that I can reciprocate it. I feel for him. He's a very nice man. Honest, always around, and not to mention uber good looking.

Love, why did you leave me?

* * * * *

This is totally nonsense but I am blogging it anyway. He sent me a PM. Asking how am I doing. Tsk. Stupid me, I was never ready for that. For the lack of better words to reply, I replied by asking his identity. Hahaha. I was tempted to say that I am finally over you. Err, getting over you pala. Also, the evil in me wants to tell him that: "I have no PSP and DSLR to give you, why sent me a PM?". Tsk. Poseurs and users are no longer welcome in my life. Meeting such is an episode I want to bury in my grave.

* * * * *

Whoa, Tuesday Love pala ngayon. I almost forgot.

What shall i do with my last 10 weeks?

Time is no longer my best ally. It's fast becoming my nemesis. I only have 10 more remaining weeks to do the things that I love and enjoy doing. Ten weeks! Do you get that?

There are so many things that I want to explore and to experience again. How am I going to squeeze in all those acts? I really have no idea. I am as shocked as you are. Why did it have to be this soon? I am not yet ready myself.

I want to overcome my fear of driving. Yes, I desire to be on that seat. So self-assured looking as I traverse the busy roads of the Metro. Hmm, superior complex on strike again. I vow that before my 10 weeks end, you will see me driving the promised Vios. Wink.

I had a change of heart. I now want to try to go fishing and experience it firsthand. I am not doing it for anyone else but myself. Well, I have no idea where and when and how but soon, I will ask some friends to join me in San Fabian again. We will immerse with the real fisher folks.

I'd like to eat lugaw at Auring's on Sundays especially on rainy days like this. I want to feel the warmth and regards all over again. I want the caldo to envelope me. I want to exclaim that I can live with just eating lugaw on every single day of my life.

On the 7th week, I wish that I can still go to bars. I wish to liberate myself. Dance as if no one is seeing me. Drink as if I am that thirsty. Smoke like there's no tomorrow. Meet and smile at everyone as if I am Ms. Congeniality.

Since I have been losing weight dramatically, I wish to engage in what Nikolai and I enjoyed doing before. Me posing for him. Hahaha. I will always remember how he adores my eyes. He is the sister I never had. He may be gay but the bond we shared has gone beyond gender borders. Let’s have shisha again. I miss those K smokes shisha days.

If only my self –esteem wasn’t that badly hurt, I’d go to Rich’s dinner invite. I don’t know what his intentions are, but I thank him for seeing something in me that the one I long to see it never did. I am wide awake that’s why I never agreed in any of the invites to hang out. More than the “I am not yet ready to love again” phase, I believed in your words. That I am not good for him---a crap like how you always see me.

I still pray to God to grant me another chance to be with Eydrine. I’d like to spend some more babysitting time with him. One day of fun and genuine laughter. We’d hear a mass while I carry him all the time. We’d play at Timezone. Shooting and throwing balls then after every game, he would run to me jumping as I embrace him. Afterwarrds, we will eat in McDo. He likes nuggets so I’ll feed him that. Lastly, we will go to the supermarket. I’ll let him run while I followed him with my heels on. I so adore that kid. I wish I can have someone like him. So bright and articulate. Way to go Lance, Ate Lei will just guide you from afar. Thanks much for the limited but fun times I had with you.

Consequently, I’d like to make sure that my ninang obligations to Kyle be fulfilled. F and I talked about this before; I will give him my old ATM. He will be the one giving my gifts to Kyle and Eydrine on special occasions.

I wish to see the article published before my days end. I want to hold it, see it, read it before my very eyes. I would like to do a critic like what I love doing with the other articles. That article may lack the substance. But it is so subtle that you will find yourself agreeing with me all over again.

I can imagine myself checking in to Queen's alone. Sniffing the old, comforting scent. How that room witnessed my femininity. The good old days that will never ever happen again.

I long to gaze on the stars with Pio again. It was him who introduced that idea to me. I remember the nights when he would call me and would ask me to go by the window and look up. Those twinkling stars are his. Him lovingly smiling at me. This made me miss him more. Those commendable efforts for the fireworks he set up for me once we were on the rooftop. Gee, I'd really like to believe that he loves me but my mind tells me that it isn't love. He is just grateful to have someone like me, constantly guiding him in his endeavors.

I hope to watch "One More Chance" on the last night. I want my close friends to watch and experience it with me over iced cold Absolut. I want to feel the lines and all the drama in it. I want to feel their pain so I’d know that I am still human. Capable of feeling feelings again.

And if I'd be given the chance to start my life all over again, there's only one event that I would try to alter. The very night I replied to a PM of someone who asked me if I am a human. Maybe then, I'd be whole again. Playful and free spirited.

So many wishes, wants, desires and longings. I hope to do all these before my days end. I want to create as many happy memories as possible. With those, I can really say that I lived my life to the fullest.

Sundays

I love Sundays. It's only on Sundays that I get to have that very elusive peace of mind. Every time I hear the Holy Eucharist, my heart just opens up and my mind lightens from all the burdens I have been subjected to.

Funny how I was feeling bitter and mad yesterday for the lashing I received. But now, I think that I am very much open into forgiving him. I don't have the heart to hate that person ( the one who gave me the lashing). I'd like to believe that it was the only piece of honesty he was able show me.

It made me realize how at a young age, I am capable of giving love and forgiveness. It made wiser now in making decisions. I can now decipher poseurs from not. Not because someone serves God on Sunday necessarily mean that he is God-fearing in thoughts and actions. Some are just actors. To which I wonder, isn't that more grave? Hahaha.

It's actually the fourth Sunday that we are separated from one another. Somehow, I am fine now. I am getting used to the hang of it. I am no longer keen on checking my phone whether or not he is texting me. I saved alot for not buying load. Hahaha. But of course, there are downsides. I missed him so. His voice. His touches and kisses. Whew, I'd be more crazy if I will still think of the good old times we had.

Tomorrow, I'd be claiming the yearbook type of scrapbook I pre-ordered in Trinoma. And I don't know if I'd be excited or not. The store is called PictureBooks. Yes, I am a junkie---my very own way of showing how I value and appreciate all the small things he has done in my life. Everything that I have saved will be on that book. That will be last piece of him in my life.

P.S: I am too perked up to sleep. Lying on my bed will only make me think of him. I no longer want to cry either. I don't know. Tawagan ko kaya sya? Ahahaha.

Listen

While watching this Sunday's ASAP, I realized that if there's one best song that could describe what I am feeling right now, that would be Listen by Beyonce. I somehow feel alone as I traverse the crossroads. And that I am also done believing him.

No amount of words could explain the pain that I have been feeling now. I have been hurt by the most significant man in my life. I felt cheated and used. But I thank him anyway, that was the most honest thing I have ever heard from him. Such honesty will finally liberate from the lies and betrayals.

I may seem bitter but I don't hate him. You know, despite all the stuff he did to me, I am still thankful for the whole experience. I just can't hate him even if I earned my badge for abhorring him. Someday soon, I know, I will be able to forgive him. I will. And i will still pray for his continued happiness.

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago

Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...

[Chorus]

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...