letting go

Tsk. I received a quote from a friend and it says:

Letting go is proper when you have already shown how much you a love a person and still nothing happened.

It is proper when you know it in your heart that you did your part and even half of it but all remained unreciprocated.

Letting go is not really giving up on how you feel about the person.

It is sometimes just choosing to love him from afar, to save yourself from further trouble.

And I ask:

Is it time to let go when the other partner has no more reason to fight for the relationship?

When is too much too much?

Why is it that good memories are killing you?

Can you really save yourself from trouble when depression is about to come after letting go?

When? When? When?

minutes before

Gee, I feel so Christmassy and why not, it is just a few minutes before the birth of Jesus Christ.

a bottle of anti depressant

After a very "memorable" Tuesday love, he told me that he will give something. And I just frowned because I thought that it was just another joke. Rar. To my surprise, he gave me a bottle. The bottle contains letters that are said to be anti- depressant and must be taken once a day to avoid overdose.

Whew, I am surprised once again. This is overly sweet and romantic of him. Gee, "nahiya" naman ako kasi wala pa ako Christmas gift sa kanya tapos sya ang dami ng nabigay sa akin. Tsk.

Franco Flores a.k.a. BEBE, with all my heart, a sincere thank you for all the things that you have done for me. I just can't express my gratitude when we're together for unknown reasons. I just don't know how to express it. Whew. I never regretted having you in my life. You made me happy in ways I never expected. Your mom is right. Indeed, I am very lucky to have someone like you.

* * * * *

my bdj

Today, he gave me a belle de jour planner with (my name engraved on) a Parker pen. Thank you. Really, i was not expecting that. Finally, you pulled one successful surprise. hahaha

hmmm...
wait for my own version because I'll sweep you off your feet again.

I love you bebe Franco.

just got lucky

am i really that lucky?
hhmmmmm
maybe.
maybe, its the other way around.
ahahaha


soon

i dont have the guts to ask for these. but really, I wanted this forever

1. Touch her waist.

2. Actually talk to her.

3. Share secrets with her.

4. Give her your jacket.

5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.

7. Hold her.

8. Laugh with her.

9. Invite her somewhere.

10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING ..

11. Smile with her.

12. Take pictures with her.

13. Pull her onto your lap.

14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.

15. When her friends say "I love her more than you", deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.

17. Kiss her unexpectedly.

18. Hug her from behind around the waist.

19. Tell her she's beautiful.

20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.

22. Tell her she's your everything - only if you mean it.

23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

24. Make her feel loved.

25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..

26. Don't lie to her.

27. DON'T cheat on her.

28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.

29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.

30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT.

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too.

32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.

33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).

34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.

35. Don't ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she's upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..

36. When people diss her, stand up for her.

37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.

38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.

39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.

40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.

41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.

42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.

43. Take her for long walks at night.

44. Always remind her how much you love her.

45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you're sitting on her.

You'll never know when she needs just a little more love ..

roll the dice

The Bottom Line

It's a great day for you to take a gamble in love or your career -- roll the dice!
In Detail

Today is a great day for you to take a gamble in love or in your career -- go ahead and roll the dice! You can afford to be a little more bold with what you say right now, so push the envelope. Make what you want a little bit more obvious to the person you want it from -- whether it's a date, a raise, or a promotion! This is an exhilarating time in your life, when you can start making a lot of good changes if you just show the universe that you are ready for them.

* * * * *

yes, I am ready now.

My Christmas Wishlist

This is the first time that I will be having a Christmas wishlist. I usually write down all the things I want for the coming year on New Year’s Eve or on days before my birthday. Based from my experience, people close to me are more generous on those occasions. But for a change or out of “gaya gaya” syndrome from my multiply contacts, here’s the list of my “what I want to receive” this Holiday season.

10. Cosmetics

After my graduation pictorial, I became interested with cosmetics. Suddenly, I want to buy a lot of them. Oh well, just MAC only. Ahaha. With a skin like mine (full or pimple marks, I don’t want another one), I’d like to invest on these stuff because MAC is formulated for those who have “sensitive” skin. I also want to enroll myself to Frank Provost’s make up lessons amounting to P12, 000. 00. Is there any Santa out there willing to finance my desire to be presentable enough?

9. Planner

I am the type of girl who wants everything to be planned and well deliberated because I hate surprises. I cannot adjust easily to those. And oh, the free coupon from ALDO is one valid reason why I must have this planner. Can someone give me a Belle de Jour planner available at PowerBooks? I think it’s around P600. 00 or less. For more interesting “you got to have this planner” information, you may want to visit their site (http://belledejourpowerplanner.com/09/index.php).

8. Dress/es –

I love wearing dresses when I was still thin but when I got bigger, I rarely wear one except on special occasions. Last Trinoma sale, I chanced upon a very nice satin cocktail dress from MANGO with a price tag that says “I look good on you because I am worth P3, 600. 00”. That’s too pricey according to my significant other because I can get to wear that dress once. He has a point so I must get over that dress. Dresses from Maxi, MNG (http://www.mango.com/home/home.htm?idioma=e&pais=728&europeo=N&tarifa=WO), People are People, Zara and Marks and Spencer are welcome. I also want Bench’s Overhauled denim pants, just give me the slim cut type. Hahahaha. Just last Tuesday,F noticed that leggings look good on me too. This means I also want to have one, Black (color).

7. Shoes

I have always dreamed of having a Jimmy Choo pair of shoes but it’s like breaking my bank account. I want to have comfy flats from CMG or Mendrez. Pumps from Nine West, Jannylin, Aldo, Celine, Dummond. Gladiator sandals from AlbertoParisian (available at SM Dept. Store). Training/Running shoes from Nike. Mary Janes type of sneakers from Lacoste ( http://www.lacoste.com/main.html) or Diesel.

6. Bag

I want a huge bag preferably a duffel bag because I have a lot of stuff to bring everyday. Hmmm. Any shoulder bag will do.But I'm drooling over this Marks and Spencer workbag.

5. Laptop

When my well loved Acer lappie got stolen last February 2008, I had the desire to have MacBook. Not just any Apple but Mac Air! I don’t have a hundred thousand bucks to spend for this almost thin and sleek gadget and so, I wish that my dad can read this. Dad, can you just hand me down your MacBook Pro?

4. Spa and Derma Treatments

With all the everyday stress that I am subjecting myself to, I want to be pampered like a princess even for one hour. A good massage from any reputable spa will do to relax my stiff muscles. I also want to avail Murad or Obagi treatments so that my pimples and pimple scars will disappear. God, I am so tired of hearing my partner rant on how bad my skin is. In short, gusto ko gumanda! Hahaha.

3. Watch/es

I am perpetually late for classes, meet-ups and etc and it is so ironic that I love to collect watches. Actually, I rarely wear one because it makes me panic more. Nevertheless, I want to have classic timepieces.

2. Vacation

I once read an article that quoted Walt Disney saying “Disneyland is the happiest place on earth” so I want to experience that thingy even for a day. HK Disneyland will be fine. Whew, I just want to have a break from my ever boring routines. Can some reward me this trip for being a diligent student on my graduation?

1. Peace of mind – I wouldn’t care much even if all the above mentioned stuff will not materialize just to have this very elusive peace of mind. Gee, I want to rest my brain from thinking of what is in store for me in the future. When will I stop worrying about my thesis? Rar. Maybe I should start writing on my chapter 4! I am way, way behind my schedule. What do I want after OrCom? Will I pursue cooking, preschool Ed teaching/ volunteering or law schooling? Tsk. That’s 6 months from now so I must first devote my time on my thesis. How can I refrainfrom being paranoid? Maybe when I start to trust again and finally move on from heartaches. How can I control my temper? Do I have to enroll myself in yoga classes? Maybe I should practice the 90/10 secret (thanks Beb for introducing this concept to me). Really, I know what I want and how I can achieve them but my personal issues are taking a toll on me. Slowly, I am learning to take one day at a time. I am now enjoying my life, there’s more to life aside from academics. I am two steps ahead on achieving Peace of mind.

ask them for nothing

If you love someone, ask them for nothing. Don't hold them from their destiny. Don't keep them from going off in search of their own answers. Don't ask them for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory. Don't ask them for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come.

And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer, fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires.

But should they not return to you, then life hasn't cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing them has already made life infinitely more meaningful.

By setting a person a free, you run a risk of them not returning. But always remember that you found them beautiful precisely because they were free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options