seeing is

... more painful than knowing. I don't know what's wrong with me but I keep on torturing myself. I love those self inflicted pain that make me feel depressed for days. Just when I thought that I am perfectly fine, discoveries will hit me ten folds. I should always heed the old adage that says "what you don't know, will not hurt you".

I saw it with my very eyes. All smiles. What a sight to behold. I envy you, really. I missed to be in that place. It pains to see how things have turned. All that's left for me were memories that will never ever happen again.

I am back to square one AGAIN. Feeling hurt and bitter. Maybe going away is the answer. Maybe when I am million miles away, I can muster the courage to leave the past behind. And have a non-complicated life.

I want to be happy, again.