sick and tired

I am under the weather again. Tsk. And I am tired of all the drama. Take me, I want to have my peace of mind already. Take me.

Forever GC

Gosh, it is already 4 am and I am still up doing the slides. Grrrr! Sometimes, I wonder on why do I have to do everything all by myself. Surely, I don't have the superhero complex. Yes, I do not possess such because if I do, maybe I will save P's ass in HK. Hahaha.

Shout Out: Paul Michael, umuwi kana!

Read this:

If some 10 minutes ago, I am too sleepy to even type a word. Now, I am in such state of shock to put my thoughts in symbols. Gee, what is he trying to say this time? While he was having another recital, oh well, short story appearing in my YM window, I am really tempted to reply and put those accusations hurled against me in proper contexts. Those things happened like 8 to 10 weeks ago but I will try my very best to fill you, sweetie.

Firstly, what should I expect from someone with that kind of retention? We were in Trinoma when we saw your ex with her current named Vince. You even left me when you approached them. Then told me that girl used to love you like forever but found love after a year. You even boasted that the current resembles you in so many ways. In that unexpected meet up, all you offered was shakehands to the both of them. I remebered too, that we ate in Redribbon after that. You had your usual soupy Carbonara.

Secondly, I never said you said that word when you were asking me about passport thingy. If I remembered it right, I once exclaimed, “ganyan naman yan dati, he would call me Beb so that I’ll give in”. This is in reference with the Ym conversation sometime July when I got back from the South. It was in July—meaning you and I have already fallen apart.

Now, am I arousing some memory there?

Thirdly, you did send out invites. Not once, but many times that I grew hating you for lack of respect. I don’t see the need to paste the whole conversation here to prove my point. Alright, I have divulged it to some friends because I was in so much grief then. I was like the relationship has already ended and now he has the nerve to claim and ask for 5 rounds!

Fourthly, as for the testing the waters. I think you got it all wrong. I never said that testing the waters meant testing the situation if we could be together again. I used the phrase this way and this is all I mean, ever. Do you remember the night that I told you that you are the worst person that I have ever met? I was too mad that night then there you go, some weeks from no communication at all will send PMs asking if that was my uniform in my avatar. And the confidence to even ask me about Samsung LCD price in the market. To cut it short, what was playing in my mind then was “Is he testing the waters after the you are the worst person ever episode? You knew how I detest you that very night and asking me like we are friends is something I cannot take then”.

Lastly, I never cheated on you. Never. How could I when I am all over you? Never even had the chance to be with my other friends, for crying out loud. Visits from Pio were not planned. He came here with no text nor call or whatsoever. But those unexpected visits were relayed to you. I am certain that i have told you about it. Now, don’t accuse me of some kind of flirt because that is one adjective that will not describe me.Stop alluding to those “and more” like you mean I did it.

How could you say that you are very much happy and content when you can’t even forgive? Not that you are the one to forgive me, but did cause you so much pain that you’ve gone mad berating me? Can you even sleep for the PSP and DSLR justification you gave me? Have you forgotten the lies and betrayals you did to me?

Gee, between us, it should be me who deserves to be happy and all. I deserve that happy ending for I was the fool who believed that a liar can change and can keep his promises. Check on your temper. Breathe. Relax. Show that puppy eye smile. Thank you.

P.S: I am not to neglect my ninang obligations. I only lost you, not all of them. It has been a long time since I saw them. Kiss them for me for I miss those adorable kids like I miss you. And oh, no more testing the waters for I might be misconstrued again. Rest assured that my friends and I no longer talk about you. Mind you, it only happened once. With all these being written here, I do hope that forgiveness might spring into the depths of your heart. Can’t wait for a PM to pop in my window that reads “I have forgiven you and I have let go of whatever happened between us. I am happy now and thank you for whatever it may cause”.

Lashing

I wonder why he's letting me know that he's following me at i.ph. Tsk. He could hove done is discreetly and berate me in his thoughts. Tsk. I hate how he implies that I am a liar. Never did I divulge information that those happened on one account. Really, comprehension does suffer when you have poor retention and when your sources are not that reliable to begin with.

Did I explain and defend my side? No. What for? I could have defended myself very well and win my points decisively. But I am not going to waste my precious time on things that are no longer relevant in my life.It will not change the status quo, anyways. Remember, I am a rapist. And I will always be.

Just continue being happy with your state now. Love sincerely and everything will slowly fall in its places. I have respected you in many ways more than you think. Loved you on best ways possible.

And if there's someone who deserves to get what is due to whom, it is I who deserve it. You know it in your heart. You put me through hell and back. Now, learn to forgive me (for whatever pains I have caused you, if there are any) and start to move ahead (not that I am saying that you're not over us, ah?).

Someday, I'd wish to see you offering a smile or a hand to me. Like how I witnessed your unexpected reunion with your Paulinian ex girlfriend. So long, love bug. Someday.

Remembering the days...

How did the two of you meet?

This was the question I had to endure almost everytime I am with him. The usual “common friend” excuse was what I always answer. Then, I would veer away from the topic like it was something very forbidden to talk about.

Well, not really forbidden.

But it was something I was never that proud of. Okay, let’s put it this way. I love answering trivia questions in almost any site that I get to visit. Him, on the other, loves music.

“Oh, tao ka pala”

In one of my busiest trivia days, I got a PM from some “Scoffield” wannabe asking if I am a human being for he thought that it was only a computer aided thingy that was answering the trivia questions correctly. Indeed, I am and you are disturbing my streak. Hahaha.

convinced. decided.

Information Bulletin for AY 2010-2011

This Information Bulletin is for applicants planning to take the U.P. Law Aptitude Examination (LAE). The LAE is a requirement for admission to the U.P. College of Law. For school year 2010-2011, the LAE will be administered on Sunday, 22 November 2009, in U.P. Diliman, U.P. Cebu, U.P. Baguio, U.P. Davao and U.P. Visayas.

­Admission to the U.P. College of Law is on a competitive basis and based solely on merit. The Admissions Committee shall base their decision on the applicant’s LAE Examination Grades and General Weighted Average (GWA) in the undergraduate course.

The LAE consists of objective tests designed to measure certain abilities and skills necessary to succeed in the U.P. College of Law. The test subjects include Communication Skills, Reading Comprehension and Vocabulary, Critical Thinking, and Verbal and Quantitative Reasoning.

*************************

Five years from now, my name will be posted outside of the Supreme Court. Not because I committed any violations, rather, I passed the Bar Exam. Hahaha. Yes, I am now really decided to pursue and achieve my childhood dream of becoming a lawyer. Atty. Lea Kathryn D. Peña sounds appealing to me. Well, why not? I feel that I have what it takes to survive law schooling—sense of justice, diligence, determination, passion, and high EQ.

In pursuing this dream of mine, I can only think of 4 schools that can help me actualize this. UP, ADMU, SCB and UST in particular order. These 4 schools speak highly of quality education and high passing rate. I am now ready to go through the admission process—application, nerve wrecking exams, interviews and long queues of enrolment.

Everyone wants to be admitted in UP Law and I am one of them. Getting in to this prestigious school is one hell of an adventure— the dreaded LAE and heart attack inducing panel interview after. And as for the survival? Well, it is a different story all together. Having finished my Undergrad in this University, I know very well the kind of system they run. The professors are slave drivers. Mediocrity is a big no-no. “Suntok sa Buwan ang LAE”.

Next is Ateneo. They say that it is one of the better schools after UP. In recent Bar results, Ateneans are consistently in the Top 10. Getting quality education has a price for it. More than enough means are needed in order to survive here.

Then there’s Beda. This is where prominent and celebrity lawyers studied. If not for the controversies 4 years ago, I would enroll here without thinking twice. Rumors have it that the quality of education is not as competitive as before.

Lastly, UST. Honestly, I never wanted to become a Tomasino. But as fate would have it, it seems that I am España ward next academic year. The quality of education is not bad. It would be to my advantage if I enroll here because I’d be inheriting all the notes of Kuya Martin. Hahaha. That would certainly make schooling a lot manageable and tolerable. And as for my social life? I think that wouldn’t post a problem because as friends would tease me, I am “USTE boy magnet”. Hahaha

Gee, I am uber excited. Wish me luck!

miss me?

I hope you do because I did miss you, baby. I have been through a lot lately. I am going to post some of my ramblings later today.