Provoked

Lord, I know that I have sinned a lot. Did things that are beyond morality. Not that I regret it but I am now sorry for those times. What I am going through right now is a lesson learned in a hard way. I went through a lot of emotional pain and torture but I am still trying to be strong. Carry me, Lord. The load is getting heavier everyday. Help me walk through these odds that I may show you how repentant I am.

Papa God, I am slowly learning my lessons. Please, do not burden me another human life within me. Not that I am declining the gift of parenthood but I don't think I am ready yet for the responsibilities. Lord, I don't want to rear a child alone. If there's something more painful than the PSP and DSLR confession, it would be his doubt on me. Isn't that unfair for him to think that I have been with other men? Lord, of all people, bakit sya pa un ganun? I am not asking him to love me anymore. Respect nalang sana.

If and ever that dreadful day comes, Lord, prepare me for the ordeal. Forgive me because he will never get to see my baby. Who needs someone like him? I can live without him. I don't need him.

Bless me, oh Lord tonight. Forgive me for the bad thoughts I have this very moment. I shouldn't be giving in to provocations. Make me strong. Carry me. Be with me, Jesus. Mama Mary, I seek your intercession in this predicament.

Amen.