Sunday, January 31, 2010

2 concepts related to Rejection

Pain and Resiliency.

This Sunday’s sermon is about the many rejection one person goes through in his/her entire life. Admittedly, it’s such a pain. And as much as possible, no one wants to experience it. Well, who would, in the first place? But its through rejections that you can see the value of winning—savor it because you’ve been through alot. And life shouldn’t just stop there. Do not nurture the hurt feelings. Move. Bounce back. Be resilient.

I am sharing this sermon because I had experienced alot of these. And yes, I am standing still—trying to held my head high. You know what, in my almost 23 years of existence, I have experienced all different kinds of pain from rejections. Be it on Academics, friendships, romantic relationships, careers—-basta life in general.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

24th

Its only January and I have accumulated 24 pairs of shoes. Lord, forgive me. I just couldn't contain myself upon seeing the Zara bondage shoes. I so love it!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Keep them coming

Drama and work load never ends. Will it be? Akala ko naman dense na ako.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wow, fan much?!

Last night, I went to FF RCBC for my swimming/cardio work out. And I brought Cami with me so she'd experience how it is at Fitness First. Gee, I hope that she signs up herself too. Cami, I missed you so. Had so much fun catching up with you.

Also at FF, I met up with Kuya Andy to get my AK diamond watch from Ken. Whoa, he is super hot forever. Hahaha. Looking at my watch now, I am happy and super light headed.

Back to reality.

On my way to work from Makati, I made a mental note to check on broadsheets because I know that his name will be in it. And I was right, Architecture Licensure Exam landed on the front pages of Phil Star and Manila Bulletin. And you guessed it right, I bought copies. Hahaha.


Nah, no one can blame me for feeling this way. I am happy for him. And super proud at that! We may no longer be together and I know that I have nothing to contribute in the success but I am just so happy that someone I know personally made it. Come on, be sensible and don't frown. Wink! Consider me a fan.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

And F Made it

Papa God, thank You for all the blessings. I can't thank You enough for giving us what is due for all of us. You truly are the best.

I tried so hard not to blog about it for fears that I might be misconstrued again. Alright, I have been a stalker to the point that I know whatever is it that's happening in his life. No one's actually updating me. I just happen to know. Hahaha. Clairvoyance much?

Kidding aside, I was so restless and frazzled as I google for the Arki board results. So okay, Top 10 are always the first to surface. 1, 2, 3....4! Franco Lintag Flores---UST---85.20%. To say that I was shocked is an overstatement. Shucks, I was overjoyed! Imagine, someone I know personally ranked 4th in the recently concluded ALE.

I am so proud of you. I never doubted your capacity to become great. Finally, you are few steps toward your goals. You are great and you deserve only the best. Thank you for picking up my call, Congratulations!

PS: Yay, my September 2008 entry is amazing. I saw it coming then.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Straticiella & Sansrival

Feeling oh so sad from work, I decided to skip my Yoga class tonight and binge in Amici Annex instead. Whoa, I woke up this morning conditioned to sweat my bootie in FF because I am going to strut myself in my new bikinis. Hahaha. I am scheduled to have my swimming/cardio work out in FF RCBC with the girls tomorrow. Rar. Hello fats. Oink. Oink. Oink.

RF bought Samsung HD already. After oh so many deliberations. Tsk. You are so mapera ever. What would become of us? Ang gastos natin!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Yoga is Love

whoa, for the first time, I got on my class on time. Yes, was at FF before 6pm because I was too lazy to go back to the office after sampling for Babyland and Moana.

Yey! I can do perfect splits and bending again. I don't know if its because I did gymnastics and ballet when I was young or I am payat na talaga. Hahaha.

Someday, I will become a Yoga teacher. Namaste!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Why Sunday is Love

Dear Lord, thank You for everything.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Sleepless

And drowning. Yes, in a swimming pool full of thoughts. So many realizations. So many what nots. And oh so many effin' coincidences. My, why is it that my affair is somewhat patterned or copied? Is this a trend? A penchant (like I always go for Tomasinos)? Hahaha.

I really don't know but I feel like I am a lost flock right now. Sleepovers at Sikatuna are always enlightening and liberating. Alright, last night I bared my soul out. I admitted to her the one thing I kept on denying thinking that it will save me from "ang tanga mo" remarks.

Surprisingly, she was all ears. Giving me all the time in the world to reflect on such actions. Well, there was no remorse. I grew to become a woman in that affair. I learned a lot. He may be the one person that unleashes all the inhibitions in me. He was the one I needed to surprise myself on the things I never thought I would ever do. So, thank you.

P.S: I kinda feel lost but I am happy. Finally someone was able to penetrate the icy facade. If dreams are real, gosh, kill me now. I so desire you. Haha. RF <3

Maybe, it was love. Love not bound to last but very enjoyable, nevertheless. It was a worthwhile experience.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Dead. Fantasies. Dreams

I am so over it. I am done. I did my best.

But there will always be some unforeseen matters that take place. Had you made up your mind, maybe we are not in this predicament. Don't get me wrong. I am not alluding that you are stupid. Gee,you are indeed stupid! No amount of consolation will ever make me change my mind about quitting.

Yeah, the pay is good but I feel like I am working on every cent of it. Rar. My college allowance is as much. And that adds up to my heartaches. I sometimes wonder on why do I have to work like there's no tomorrow when my father can surely provide for us.

If I wasn't that hard headed, maybe things are so much fine now. Had I continued my studies and enrolled to UST for law schooling, I don't have to feel the work heartaches. So many maybe's. Maybe, we still are. Oh crap. This is a work related entry. Hahaha.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

UBE

I just had an UBE with my Pampanga friends. Yep, another Ultimate Bonding Experience at Mann Hann and Conti's. Whoa, what a very sinful night! So much carbs and I have not been to FF in 2 weeks now. Gosh, I am spending 3,400 pesos a month and I don't make sulit of that. Grrr.

Another ube. That sweet and rich yum from Good Shepherd Baguio courtesy of Tel. actually, that was her peace offering to me. Hahaha. How sweet of Tel because she remembered the many times I bugged her for that. Well, Kristel...I used to bug you about it because I want to give F that and NOT because I like eating that. Thanks nevertheless.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Big Bert's and Fish Eye

Today, I had sampling at Gift Gate's office in Donya Imelda QC wherever office. Hahaha. The address isn't familiar so I tried wikimapia and google but I got lost nevertheless. Yay, I am so dumb when it comes to directions. Tsk.

Moving on, the sampling went fine. PW will say hello to kitty's abode in RP Ermita branch. Yey to me! I closed another deal. Yey because I am close to my target date of resignation. So I went out of the building thinking how am I going back to the office. 15 steps away from the building, I was surprised to see a very familiar signage. The signage says "Big Bert's". Alright, I remembered him again but that was just it. I didn't let it get to me. I just read it in passing then I hailed the cab back to office.

Memories of you are everywhere. Especially on sampling dates. Yay!

* * * * *

I learned a new concept today. Courtesy of my UPM batchmates, Cami and Kara. Because of Cami's remark, I had to post on my YM status "what's a fish eye lens?". And then Kara was so gracious enough to answer my stat. Hahaha. Iyon pala yun. Haha. Good job, Cami! You are forgiven for bailing out on us last weekend. Hahaha.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Ms. Understood

is my new blogspot account. And that's for the UPM community.

Will update this tom. I am super cramming my presentation. Help! Will you do the perspectives for me?

Monday, January 18, 2010

And Again

I am under the weather.
I didn't report to work.
I missed the cut off for Jan 23 exam.
I am behind schedules again.
I am such a twitter addict.
I am eating nonstop. Hello belly fats!
I miss going to FF.
I have my period last night.
I am feeling lazy.
I didn't have trans today.
I am over fatigued over the weekend acts.
I am happy.
I am in love :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Realizations

Below is a collage of last night's warrior up at ||:encore:



1. No matter how long you didn't get to see one another, friends will always be friends. Gee, not even a hint of awkwardness. Haha. Everything seems yesterday, very vivid. I so love my college buddies. Till next month for another warrior up night!

2. What you are/were subjected to has strong repercussions to your future. No worries Cams, I am just here.

3. People have reasons for getting back on each others arms. Give them the chance. And be happy for them.

4. I feel oh so guilty for Kris' interview on THE BUZZ today. I wasn't able to watch it but I googled and watched it on Ytube. I feel bad for her, really. Tsk. And her tell all interview hit me. Sometime ago, I rang ex's mobile. But never had the guts to speak with him---I just wanted to hear his voice or maybe say adieu before my flight (which I skipped). Hahaha. Anyways,I feel guilty that I was so thoughtless and inconsiderate. What would the gf feel then? Yay. My long over due apology for that.

5. Perhaps it's best to live with the possibility that around any corner, at any time, may come the person who reminds you of your own capacity to surprise yourself, to put at risk everything that's dear to you. Who reminds you of the distances we have to bridge to begin to know anything about one another. Who reminds you that what seems to be---even about yourself---may not be.

6. I am happy today. I am slowly learning to count my blessings. Amen.

I am excited to work tom. I must. I love you.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Out for tonight

Aint sure if I can blog tonight because I'll be out with my girlfriends. Hahaha. Im super excited to wear my new pumps and wetseal top. I love!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Content

Last night, I had a sleep over ate Fran's in Sikatuna. And I brought Coco with me because he badly needs some grooming from Pet Express. And so today at work, Coco is here with me. Hahaha. Good thing, my bosses are dog lovers too.

Slowly, I am becoming one. Almost there. Slowly getting there.

P.S.: Me missin' RF.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Star and Hosp Wi-Fi

I am having my check up and that blue signal made my day. Hahaha. May wi-fi na dito! See? I so love my star phone. me tweetin again.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Perspectives

I am now learning to make perspectives. No CAD or 3D thingy, just Google Sketch Up. It isn’t my thing but I seem to enjoy it. Its showing how trying hard I am. Hahaha. Store visits tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

She made me miss you more

I had an expected SMS conversation with my "never materialized sister in law". Hahaha. Kidding aside, I am the very assertive godparent of her baby boy, K. The conversation took almost whole day. Major catching up with each other lives. Never thought that I could open up matters like that with her.

Oh well, God bless on tomorrow's interview. Mae's dad is expecting you. And yes, you made me miss him more.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Your Day

Everywhere I go, memories of you haunt me. I sometimes wonder that I will never ever be able to go and move on from the ordeal. Tsk.

This morning, on my way to work, the van smelled you. That Por Homme is so strong and so sniff worthy that it transported me back to the olden days. Tsk. How I want to tackle you and sniff that scent to my heart's desire. Consequently, I remembered Nim's Island movie, and how I smelled it on that white shirt.

Because the meeting was set in Richwell Trading's office (in Q.Ave), I passed by Angelicum College or the Sto. Domingo church. I saw an announcement about enriching spiritual life that is sponsored by The Lord's Flock. I kept on refreshing my memory why that religious community seems to be so familiar. Voila! That's the same prayer meeting group he went to years ago (and almost had an accident in north-west ave area).

Rar. Him again. Tsk.

After the meeting, I dropped by BIR regional office along Delta. While waiting for my TIN number, I thought of his mother for she works on the same government agency but in a different branch. And it hit me that I have not shipped my Christmas gifts for them yet.

So after BIR, I hurriedly went back to office. I was trying to make it before lunch time because Celine will treat us for lunch. Haha. Happy Birthday, Celine! And so I took a cab---in the cab driver's effort to make short cuts, I saw 3 Charades. Why are there so many Charades near Gilmore-Broadway area?! Tsk.

Thanks to my work load, I haven't noticed the time. When it was time to go home, I did my routine: crossed out the date today in my desk calendar. It dawned on me that TODAY is the 11th day of the month.

January 11 is so memorable for it was the 3rd or 4th break-up. Twas the day that while watching ASAP, I got SMS informing me the "di ko na kaya" message. It broke my heart. It left me with no choice but to let go. Twas Sunday then, while praying to God I summoned all the will not to ask him back. I surrendered everything to God. I may have cried during the celebration, but I went home with so much peace of mind and acceptance. Upon reaching my room, I turned my laptop on and wrote a very long letter. I think I posted that letter here. Well, it was basically about accepting his decisions and thanking him for everything. Then came morning, he called to wish me luck on my PE class. Twas also the day (Jan. 12) that I cried buckets of tears to Camile just before my NatSci class. I even sobbed harder when he texted me that Tony's playing "Bubbly" in his computer. Rar. Major torture!Then he asked me to give him another chance. I gladly said yes because that was my heart's wish. I cannot imagine life sans him---my world revolved around F.

A year after, that letter holds true. I am so much into you. In fact, I am smelling the anti-depressant bottle. Trying to relive the glorious days. I guess, I still do. It never went away. No amount of heartaches will ever reduce the intensity I had/have for you.

January 11 is your day---in my life.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Of Humility and Forgiveness

Yey me for I am still in complete attendance for my Sunday obligations. Haha. Kidding aside, it has always been automatic. Thanks F for rekindling my spiritual affinity. Kisses :)

This Sunday's sermon is about HUMILITY. And the birth of Jesus Christ is a good reminder for that virtue. Now, I realized that I've posted so much about my material stuff. According to Father, it (posting/bragging about possessions) widens the gap between those who can avail and cannot of the luxuries the world has to offer. Case in point: he was very pissed in one of the alumnus of St. Martin or ICSB for posting in his (alumnus) wall something like "Alam mo ba ang feeling ng gumagamit ng worth 30k na cellphone? Itanong mo sa akin". Father feels ashamed for having been one on this alumnus' mentor. Tsk. Way too show off.

And somehow, I feel guilty about this. In some ways, I had the tendencies of unintentionally brag about my stuff through blogging. I was always thoughtless and careless for I think that this blog is private. So oxymoron on itself, right? Haha. of course, some people will be able to access this. Voila! My thoughts are out/shared to that reader.

With humility comes forgiveness. Whenever "Our Father" is being sung, I am always almost in tears. The part: "And forgive us our sins as we forgive those sin against us" always makes me feel sad. Imagine that this is sang inTagalog thus you can feel the words no matter how arbitrary they are. If you are wondering why I am affected, answer to this is that I am awaiting for someone very significant to me to forgive me for all the heartaches and misgivings I had commited against him. I am trying to move on with life but the emotional baggage is too heavy to take 3 steps without lamenting on the falling out.

Someday, it'll come. And I'd be very glad to receive such. Surely, it'll make my journey less heavy and more worthwhile.

* * * * *
A major God bless to me for I have business proposal with Ollie and Co's. manager at 10am tomorrow. I need outlets. Lots of them. Lord, help me. I am claiming my heart's desire tonight and so I'll say thank you in advance for I know that you will grant those. Amen.

* * * * *
I am almost there. Very, very close. More happy days for me and RF! xoxo

* * * * *
Because Ameel just tagged me in FB (she posted her Debut pics), can't help but notice that I am still wearing such bangs up to now. Hahaha. The old pic was 5 years ago. Imagine that! Yay.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

RF

is love! Woot! Happy me.

Friday, January 8, 2010

:)

Lat night, i was a good job. Hahaha. It's Friday, and I am in love. Wink

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Party

Had fun again. Better late than never.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

50 more

Woot! 50 more days and it will be my 23rd. Ang bilis naman! Yay.

I am super happy today! Secret. Hahaha

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Another Tuesday Love

Indeed. For Kuya Andy and Ate Jinkee :) After 13 years of being together, they are now engaged. Whoa, its all diamonds. Hahaha. Lucky her talaga.

Me watchin GG. Sayang, wala ng Prison Break, complete na sa ang Tuesday Love ko. Hahaha. And today is the 5th day of the year. Hmmmm. The thought’s making me smile. I miss, miss, miss RF!

* * * * *

Confessed to Ken about how I feel towards RF. It wont hurt a little but Law schooling is coming soon.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Hello Work

Goodbye rest days, Hello work! Holidays are over and so work loads are starting to pile up again. Gee, I am not complaining. Hihihi. Tom will be my Marketing plan presentation and I have not started on my slides. Lazy me.

Monday pikunan with Lambert at Fitness First. Dude, I don't have the patience to wait. Never had. Tsk. I went to Trinoma all the way from San Juan because you were making drama about resigning from work. Tsk. You even asked me to draft your resignation letter and now you had the nerve to have kept me waiting. Tsk. Good thing I saw April at FX terminal to Bulacan. Tsk. Napauwi tuloy ako ng wala sa plano dahil sa inis.

* * * *

Guess who's excited for Tuesday Love tom? I am. Hahaha. See you tom, sunshine. Kuya Andy's wedding proposal tom. Love. Love. Love.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Epiphany

Today, we celebrate Epiphany and not the feast of the 3 Kings---according to our Parish priest, Father Monic.

* * * *

OMG! My heart is pounding like I did 30 minutes of RPM plus 30 minutes in thread mill. Gee, I can't believe it---I am literally and figuratively stalking again! Whoa, I don't know what happened to me but my fingers just typed in the letters (making excuses)and voila! I am in ______ pages and posts. Hahaha. You are so funny, sweetie. I am all the more missing you. You still amuse me up to this date.

Well, I stopped before heartaches consume me again. No more nega vibes for 2010. Rar. Akala ko naman kaya ko kasi. Grabe ah, I refrained myself from such about 4 months ago and on the 3rd day of the new year, I am back to this effin' habit.

* * * *

On the lighter note, Madi and I with 2 undecided friends will watch Ne-Yo's concert on Saturday. We are torn between Platinum and Gold tickets. Rar. Why does it have to that expensive. Tsk. I am not into music--never an audiophile. Only F made me listen to radio and download some female voices songs. And now, I am about to spend 4k for that concert. Grrr. If not for Madi's drama, I am sure that I will just be working my bootay out on Fitness First.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

On the Second Day

*I was able to score 4 pairs of Crocs. Hahaha. Okay, I know I have blogged before that I am not to spend on shoes anymore but hello, that’s 30 something dollars only. Visit crocs.com for your own loots. And oh, one pair will be given to my kumare pala. Talking about being generous Lea. Wink!

*I had been very desperate to find Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner in all upscale malls I have been to t(hese past months) only to come home empty handed. Gee, I had the biggest smile when Ate F told me about drugtore.com’s buy 1 and 50% off on the said hair care brand. And yes, I hoarded again. Gee, I am so excited that I want to take a bath right now. Hihihi.

*In consonance with Herbal Essences, I was able to buy myself some Queen Helene mask. That’s for my pimply marked face. Yikes! And for Coco’s shampoo and conditioner, too. Yay, his is more expensive than mine. Lucky puppy!

*Lastly (on shopping note), 6 new NYC bags has been carted for K to pay. Haha. I swear, I am not to buy bags in the next 4 years.

*Had my footsies groomed and pampered at a nearby spa (Tony’s).

*And I am finally to let go of my old Samsung u600. Just before NYE, I have deleted all the pics and messages and everything that reminds me of my greatest love. Well, some things do not last forever and so what is the point of holding on to memories? I just have to let go and move on. And today is the start!

Yey! I can sense that 2010 will also be my lucky year. Hahaha.

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010

You better be good or else...