day 3: growing

Whew, I am scared to close my eyes last Thursday. I feared that when morning comes, he will no longer be the passionate beb I know. And I was right. He was really detaching his life away from me. Lord, can you open his heart and let me be in once again? I am actually happy right now. Yes, happy because I am just thankful that he still replies to my SMS. I can still feel the concern in his SMS. But last night, I could not contain the tears from flowing once again when I read the word "beb" in his message. It felt so good. It motivated me to go on, pursue him more and win back his trust again. True enough, I wish that we could be happy the way we were before. I know that it is hard to open up your heart for me again but please, just don't stop me from expressing the love I have for you. I have so much love in my heart. I want to give it all to you. I want to make you the happiest man. I could only do these things if you would let me in again. I wont get tired of loving you--even in silence.

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I watched "Panaginip na Fili" written and directed by Floy Quintos in Guererro Hall in UP diliman. Nico asked me to join him first before going to Alchemy. The play was good. Modern attack to El Filibusterismo but it still mirrors the cancer of the society. The problems we had before is still prevalent today. We do not learn from history. There is always a Donya Victorina, Padre Camora, Simoun, Basilio, Isagani, Paulita, Juli and Kabesang Tales in us. But of course, it's never too late for the Filipinos to have Philippines stand on its feet again.

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After the play, I planned to meet my bebe for dinner but the play took 30 minutes longer than the expected running time. And so, no dinner took place because he will be waiting and I don't want to consume his time. I knew that he had a long day working and I'd like him to take his rest. And oh, he will attend another fellowship about maturing today that's why I did not ask him to wait for me. Sayang but I don't take it against him. Slowly, I am beginning to be patient and considerate in dealing with people.

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I have a lot of growing ups to do. I will patiently wait for you. You are my happiness. I won't get tired of loving you. I love you so. Please, open up your heart for me again.