When we are inlove, every thing around us is perfect - bad hair days, missing fave shirt, missed fave shows, lost stuff and other likes are nothing. We feel happy, content and light-hearted. We forget the pain and sorrow we once felt.
We ignore the heat of the sun, our mom’s every morning lectures and everything else that used to irritate us, as long us we see our significant other. He is the source of our happiness… he makes us complete… he is the center of our lives. Everytime we are in this, nothing else seems to matter… nothing… only him.
But not all of us stay as happy, as content and as light-hearted. Not all of us feel that “thingy” forever. Sometimes it only takes us few months or years then it ends. The sparks just dim, the feelings just die. No one can explain it, it just happens either to us or to him.
When we came to the point where we feel suffocated with him, when we feel unhappy, discontent and heavy-hearted, it is time to settle things right away. Do not wait till the feeling gets worse for you will be the one to suffer more. Have some time off, think things clearly and know what you really feel. When you are already sure that there is no other way, tell him. Do not pretend and tell him you still love him for you will only hurt him more when he finds out. Besides, you are lying more to yourself than him. Approach him and confess. It is better to tell him straight, better to hear it from you than from others.
This is only if you are the one having problem with your relationship. If it is your partner that is having problem… hmmm, the best you can do is feel. Feel if, for him, your relationship now sucks. Feel if the feeling he once had starts to fade. Feel. If in time you realize that he transformed from being warm to cold, then it is time to do your move. Talk to him. Ask and be sure you are ready to hear either of the answers - good or bad.
The common reason for not telling right away is “I don’t want to hurt you”… though he just did! Or maybe he is in the phase where he tries to know what he really feels. If that is the case, give him time. And, if the time comes that he is now sure and the answer is the not-so-good answer, try to understand. It is hard to accept it. Hell yeah!!! But what can you do? Ask for another chance? That maybe you can change things??? It is up to the both of you. But if the time comes where there is no choice but part ways, accept it.
Though it feels really bad as if you are sentenced to death, take it. That is part of it. That is how things are. Like I said, either you or him. In either situation, the next part is moving on. Though letting go is needed first in the latter situation for you cannot move on if you haven’t let go.
For me they are different. Letting go is when you forget the person, when the feelings you have seems to evaporate.Moving on is forgetting that you are forgetting and just going on with life. For the later situation, you do not have to kill the feelings for it is already dead while for the latter the feeling is still there. Letting go is the hardest part ,for sometimes it takes long to be totally successful. For some, success never happens. But once you are free of pain, everything starts to flow smoothly again.
In moving on, the first days are terrible. These are when some things still remind you of him or how he was to you. No matter how you avoid and ignore them. It is irritating sometimes. There you are leaving the past behind and yet there are those things that remind you of it. Then again, it is part of it. Time will come where you will just laugh at it. Sooner or later you will get used to it. Just go on. *sigh* Loving and being loved… it does bring smile on our faces, satisfaction in our lives but sometimes come with it are sacrifices to make, heartaches and pain when it is not meant for you.
Not always you are happy, not always you feel complete. When you failed in falling inlove, it is normal to cry, to brood and be alone. But not forever. Keep in mind that everything will be fine. Its hard but you must! Just think that love doesn’t want to stay longer. At least it did stay. Like what they say, life doesn’t ends after heartbreak… it starts there. Suffering and sadness may come with loving and falling out of it, but there is something important- it is the lesson we learn. The lesson that is left in us that will make us stronger, better and ready the next time love comes along. Who knows, the next time we fall, love will choose to stay with us… forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment